I swore to myself that after tonight, I’d sever all physical, mental, and emotional ties with Cade.
Angry thoughts fueled by insecurity continued to tumble through my mind like a chain reaction as I entered my home. I wondered to myself what would make me feel better. A bubble bath? Reruns of my favourite sitcoms? Or a hot mug ofchampurrado?
But the latter only reminded me more of my ex-boyfriend.
I closed my eyes, inhaling shakily.
He was everywhere.
In every thing, in every memory, in every breath.
A shot of pain zinged through my core and I stumbled, holding on to the wall for support.
What…What was that?
Suddenly, I felt wetness pooling in my thong.
Followed by another cramp.
Somehow, I managed to make it to my bedroom as quietly as possible without waking up my parents or Emilio. On the next bout of sharp pain, I used my fist to muffle my gasp and threw open the door of my en suite, dashing inside.
My heart jackhammered and my frantic fingers reached under the skirt of my dress to see the verdict.
Blood.
Thick, red blood soaked the lining of my white thong.
Dread swept through me as a sinking realization pounded inmy brain.
“No, no, no, no.” I glanced at my reflection in the mirror, a wild and terrified look in my eyes. “Please, no.”
Deep loss curled into my muscles, weighing me down. I fell back against the wall before landing in a heap on the bathroom floor.
No, no, no, no.
Despite chanting it, I knew with conviction that this wasn’t a period. Nor was this mild spotting during my first trimester. The sharp pains in my body weren’t related to my heartbreak but tothis.
Did I…Did I actually miscarry my baby?
For the third time tonight, I cried, pulling my knees to my chest to muffle my sobs in the material of my dress.
I was wrong.
This was the worst feeling I ever experienced.
Moments trickled into solid minutes as I cried like never before. Tonight’s rollercoaster of emotions shook me. From being ecstatic about my pregnancy and baking cupcakes for Cade, to fury at catching him with the other girl, to sheer devastation at my loss.
How was I going to recover from this? How would I move on from this pain? I could never tell my parents, my friends, or even Cade what happened.
The truth would remain buried with me forever.
The sound of tiny footsteps padding into my room had my head snapping up. Emilio entered the en suite in his Batman pyjamas, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.
Oh, God.
He must have heard me wailing.
Emilio squeaked when he saw me. Defeated, body trembling, and black mascara streaks down my face.
