“We were always monsters, Calder. I just taught you how to survive being one.”
“You taught me how to be you.” The admission comes out harder than I intend. “You beat it into me. Drilled it so deep it became reflex instead of thought. And I let you. I followed your orders. I did terrible things because you told me to, because I thought that’s what loyalty means. What being a Bishop means.”
“And now?” Roman’s voice drops to something dangerous. Something cold. “Now you’ve decided to throw all that away? To hand me over to the feds because your little wife made you feel something?”
“Now, I’ve decided that I’m not willing to let you destroy what’s left of this family. I’m not willing to watch my brothers become you. Watch them lose themselves the way I almost did.” I pause. “This isn’t about betraying the family, Roman. It’s about saving it.”
“Saving it.” He laughs, the sound ugly and raw. “You think the FBI gives a fuck about saving this family? They’ll tear us apart. Take everything. Put us all in cages. Is that what you want?”
“I want you gone.”
The words hang in the air like gunsmoke.
Roman goes very still. For a moment, the only sound is the grandfather clock in the corner, marking time in steady, relentless beats.
“You want me gone,” he repeats slowly.
“Yes.”
“And what about your brothers? Did you think about them when you made your deal with the feds?” He gestures around the table. “Did you think about how this would affect them? Their futures? Their lives?”
“They had no idea.” I’ve been preparing for this moment, knowing I’d need to protect them when everything came crashing down. “None of them knew what I was doing. It was all me. Just me.”
“Bullshit.” Roman slams his hand on the table, making the dishes jump. Making Saint jump. “You expect me to believe you coordinated something this elaborate without any help? That you’re smart enough to pull this off alone?”
“Believe what you want. But it’s the truth. Sawyer didn’t know. Kade didn’t know. Levi didn’t know. This was my decision. My plan. My betrayal.”
I can feel my brothers’ eyes on me. Can feel the questions they’re not asking. The confusion and hurt and anger all tangled together. But I keep my focus on Roman. Keep my expression neutral. Keep my voice steady. Sawyer is smart enough to stay quiet. To recognize what I’m doing and play along. Levi too.
But Kade…
“That’s impossible,” Kade says, his voice tight. “You don’t have the technical knowledge to set up surveillance. To coordinate with federal agents. To plan something like this without?—”
“Without what?” I cut him off, my gaze shifting to him. “Without your help? Is that what you were going to say?”
His jaw clenches. “I’m saying you’re not smart enough to do this alone.”
“Thanks for the vote of confidence, brother.”
“This is bullshit.” Kade pushes back from the table, his chair scraping against the hardwood. “You’re lying to protect someone. Or multiple people, and I want to know who.”
“Sit down,” Roman orders.
Kade doesn’t move. “Dad, he’s obviously covering for?—”
“I said sit down.”
The command in Roman’s voice is absolute. Kade hesitates, his hands curling into fists, then slowly sinks back into his chair. But the rage is still there, simmering just below the surface. Waiting for permission to explode.
Roman takes another long drink from his glass. Drains it. Reaches for the bottle of whiskey beside his plate and pours himself three fingers' worth. The alcohol glugs into the glass, the sound obscenely loud in the tense silence.
“You know what I think?” Roman says, his words slurring heavily. “I think my boys are all too soft. Too weak. None of you would have the balls to do what Calder’s claiming he did alone.” He takes a drink, then wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “You want to know why I know that? Because I’ve watched all of you. Studied you. Waited for one of you to show some spine, some ambition, some killer instinct that wasn’t beaten into you.”
He points at Sawyer. “You. Always in your head. Always calculating. Never willing to get your hands dirty unless necessary.”
Sawyer’s expression doesn’t change, but I can see his breathing quicken. See the slight tremor in his fingers as they grip the table edge.
Roman’s finger swings to Levi. “And you. The baby. All charm and smiles and no substance. You think riding bullsmakes you tough? Makes you a man? You’re playing cowboy while real men do real work.”
