“You’re defending him.” Confusion bleeds into my father’s eyes. “After everything he’s done, you’re defending him.”
“No. I’m protecting you. Protecting us.” The truth slips out before I can stop it.
My father drops his arms back down to his sides. “Whatever he threatened you with?—”
I cut him off before he can sink too deeply into building another narrative.
“When the time comes, and I can explain more, I will. There is no threat. I want to be with Calder, and I need you to stop asking questions and causing problems. I’m an adult. I can choose who I want to marry and be with. If you love me at all, you will respect my decision.” It’s a low blow, and I hate that I’ve used his love for me against him, but I’m trying to protect him. Trying to make sure Roman doesn’t get any ideas.
The silence that follows is worse than any argument. Dad looks at me for a long moment. Memorizing my face like it’s the last time he’ll see me. Then his gaze swings to Calder. “If you hurt her—” The threat is quiet but absolute. “There won’t be anything to stop me. I’ll find a way. I don’t care what it costs me. Hurt her, and I’ll kill you myself.”
“Fair enough.” Calder’s voice is equally quiet. “You have nothing to worry about. The last thing I would do is hurt your daughter.”
In the beginning, I never would’ve believed what Calder just said, but now I knew it was true. Calder cared.
Accepting his response, my father nods slowly, then turns his attention back to me. Taking my hand in his, he gives it a gentle squeeze. “I love you, Saintlyn. No matter what. No matter where you are or what you’re forced to say. You remember that. I’m always here.”
“I love you, too.” I barely get the words out with all the emotions clogging my throat.
“When you’re ready—” His voice breaks. “When you need me, I’ll be here, waiting. I’ll always be waiting.” He lets go of my hand after that and slips out the door, closing it gently behind him. I want to go to him, to tell him that I’m sorry. That I didn’t mean to hurt him, but I don’t. I can’t. Pushing him away is for his own good. It’s to protect him.
And even though he’s in the same town, only a few minutes’ drive from me, something about this meeting feels finite. Like I might never get to see him again.
“I know it was hard but you did good.” Calder’s hands come to rest on my shoulders.
“I hate lying to him.” I twist away from his touch and return to the oven to check the biscuits, needing something to do. Something normal. The kitchen smells like baking bread. Like home. Like everything I’m losing.
“Someday, when things are better, when you’re safe, you’ll be able to tell him the truth.”
“What if, when that time comes, it’s too late?”
“It won’t be. Your father loves you with his entire heart. I mean, he told me he was going to kill me himself if he found out I was hurting you.” Calder chuckles. “The man’s a pastor. He’s supposed to offer support and forgiveness. Not threaten to kick people’s asses.”
I turn to face him and can’t help the small smile that tugs at my lips. “I suppose that is a little bit funny. I still can’t believe he was going to take a swing at you. I’ve never seen him raise his fist to someone.”
Calder smiles. “Sometimes a man needs the right incentive to show what he’s made of. If anything, I respect your father a little more than I did before.”
“Would you have let him?”
“Probably.” Something shifts in his voice. “He’s earned at least one.”
I stare into the eyes of the man who’s destroyed my life and saved it in the same breath. After tonight, everything will change. In what way, I have no idea, but it will. There is no escaping what fate has in store for me.
The smell of the biscuits fills my nostrils and drags me back to the present. I maneuver around Calder to take the biscuitsout and put them on the stove. It’s the small things, I swear. As I turn around to face Calder again, I notice what looks like a syringe in his hand.
I take an involuntary step backward and collide with the stove. I try not to sound surprised, but I don’t do a good enough job of hiding it. “What’s that?”
His lips go flat, as do his eyes. “Birth control. After last night, I thought it would be a good idea. We haven’t talked about children yet, or what we want for the future, but the last thing I want to do is give Roman another person to use as leverage against us.”
That’s not where I thought this was going, and now I feel stupid.”That makes sense. I’m sorry for thinking?—”
Placing the syringe on the counter, he grabs me by the hips and lifts me, depositing me on the edge of the counter. “Don’t be sorry. You have a right to ask questions.”
He pulls an alcohol wipe from his pocket, opens it, and lifts the sleeve of my shirt to clean my skin. Then he uncaps the syringe with his teeth, my shirt in his other hand and then slides the needle into my upper arm. There’s a slight sting as the medication goes into my arm, but no other discomfort.
Calder gives me a look that screams possession. “I want to make one thing very clear to you, Saint. As soon as it’s safe, I want to get you pregnant and watch your belly swell with our child. I can’t wait till that day comes.”
The idea of having a child together gives me a sliver of hope that there might be a future for us after all. Before that can happen, we have to get through tonight.
