She closed her eyes, wishing it were that simple.
How do you tell the kind man who treats you like you are in fact a treasure that it hurts every time you let your guard down, when he moves closer to you, only for him to pull away each time?
Bluntly, like you do everything else.
Why her conscience was such an asshole she didn’t know, but she was throwing it major internal side-eye right now. That didn’t change the fact that it was right, however. She needed to be clear with Aléx. She needed to draw some boundaries.
“It’s a beautiful crown, Aléx, and I’d be honored to wear it. It’s just, I find it hard to believe you would share something so personal and sentimental with me when you won’t even share with me what’s going on with you.”
His eyes widened, and she realized she’d sideswiped him with her question.
See?her conscience rang out in her head.I told you blunt was the way to go.
Ignoring it, she stood, forcing his hands to drop from her shoulders, and turned to face him.
“Regina—”
She held up her hand to stop him. If he started talking, she’d go stupid listening to that smooth-as-silk voice of his. Then he’d kiss her, and she’d lose full control of her faculties. It wasn’t happening today.
“I’m worried about you, Aléx. You’re barely sleeping, and you’re sneaking out of our bed more frequently.”
He raised a brow, confusion pulling his smooth skin into taut lines on his face.
“You noticed that?”
She swallowed, refusing to back down now, even if it made her sound pathetic.
“I always notice when you’re gone. Don’t you know that by now?” His mouth hung open, so she continued. “I feel safe and protected when I’m with you. Since that first night you held me in my bed after my fight with my sister, I never sleep as well as when I’m in your arms.”
“Regina, I’m—”
“If you say ‘I’m sorry,’ I swear I will find your scepter and bop you on the head with it. I don’t want your apologies. I want to help you through whatever the hell is going on with you.”
She could see his constitution breaking, falling chip by chip. But just as quickly as he let the wall drop a little, he slapped spackle on it and started layering one emotional brick at a time right before her eyes.
“I ca-an’t, Regina. I want to. I just can’t.”
She closed her eyes, trying to strengthen her legs to keep her upright in this moment. Refusing to let him ruin all the hard work her glam team had done on her makeup, she took a deep breath and sat back down in front of her mirror.
“You can. You just won’t. It’s your way of showing me you care about me, just not enough to share all of yourself with me. I guess I should’ve taken you at your word when you told me you’d never love me. Because if you did, you’d know how much watching you suffer would kill me, and you’d do anything to stop that pain for me.”
He placed a hand on her shoulder, and she shook it off. She was honestly too tired to deal with this anymore.
“If you’ll excuse me, I need to finish getting ready for the ball. I’ll wear your mother’s crown. So, you can go now.”
Aléx snapped his head back as if she’d slapped him. As a king, he probably wasn’t used to being dismissed. Well, he’d haveto get used to it, because she was tired of him trampling over her heart. From now on, she’d stay in the place he’d given her. Companion and coparent and nothing more.
She watched him out of the side of her eye with his shoulders slightly bent like he had lost just a bit of his strength and a whole lot of his kingly luster.
There her stupid heart went again, wanting to call him back and hold him until her Aléx was back. That, however, was the problem. He wasn’t everherAléx, and he never would be.
Chapter Eighteen
Aléx followed Regina’sform throughout the room. For someone who said she hated people, she certainly did have the ability to command an audience. She was stunning in her gown. With his mother’s crown upon her head, she looked the part of a queen who knew her power.
It was just an act, however. That’s all it could be if she didn’t know how much he cared for her, how much he craved being in her presence.
His confession was on the tip of his tongue. He’d wanted so desperately to just let the truth slip into the air.
