It took her a while to focus on what he was saying because she was still trying to figure out what she’d seen in his eyes. “It was time for a change. Staying in this house only makes me relive my pain repeatedly. I wanted a fresh start. If you’d come later this evening, you’d have missed me.”
He lifted his hand as if he were going to touch her, then he stopped midway between them.
“What the hell am I doing?” He let his hands fall to his waist and shoved them inside his jeans pockets.
“Michael, what’s going on? Is something wrong with Janae or Cree? Is Cindy okay?”
He waved his hand in the air before hooking it into his belt loop.“Everyone’s fine. I…” He closed his eyes, taking a long breath before he locked gazes with her again. This time, instead of sadness, she saw determination and her heart went right back to its erratic rhythm.
This man is really going to be the death of me.
“Vanessa, I didn’t need to wait until later today to miss you.” He reached out slowly for her hands, taking both of them in his, stroking his thumbs slowly back and forth over her knuckles. “I’ve missed you every moment since you left. I’m just glad I got my shit together to get up here before you moved.”
“Meaning?” She laced her fingers through his and searched his face for some clue as to what he was attempting to say.
He tightened his fingers, holding on to her as if he needed to make sure she didn’t somehow float away from him.
“Vanessa, every moment you’ve been gone has been torture for me. It doesn’t make any sense. We knew each less than a week and yet, it’s like nothing works right in my life since you’ve walked away.”
She opened her mouth to speak, but he shook his head. “Please,” he begged. “Let me say what I came to say. If you want to throw me out afterward and never speak to me again, fine. I simply need you to hear me out.”
She nodded, and he took a few more deep breaths to fortify himself before he began again.
“I was wrong. Dead wrong for contacting Mr. Montgomery without your permission. My only excuse is since my parents died, it’s been really difficult not taking care of everything for everyone.
“The day before my parents died, my dad called and asked me to drive him up to an impromptu get-together happening with some of his friends. My dad had gotten to the point where driving at night was hard for him, so anytime they had a long-distance trip planned, I’d take time off work and we’d make it a family trip. Unfortunately, because this happened so quickly, there was no way I could get the time off from work. I begged them both to decline the invite andpromised that on my next weekend off, I’d do the drive. My father wouldn’t hear any of it. We argued, and he drove anyway.”
He took a deep breath and smoothed his hand down the front of his chest, as if he was reminding himself he was here in the present with Vanessa and not back in that terrible nightmare ten years ago.
“Because of his declining sight, it was hard for him to read road signs. He’d take a million wrong turns before he could find his way back to his route, even with GPS. That’s what happened that night. He’d taken a wrong turn and ended up on a highway he wasn’t supposed to be on. And that put them in the path of the semi-truck driving the wrong way. After it happened, I felt like it was my fault. Like if I’d been better at controlling my father’s stubbornness, I would’ve been able to get him to see reason. And I think in that moment, I decided that the only way I could protect the people I love was to keep them from harming themselves. No matter what it took.”
Out of all the things she thought would’ve come out of his mouth, that wasn’t it. She lifted her hand slowly to his cheek, cupping it, trying to soothe the pain that filled his eyes.
“I was wrong for what I did to you. I promise you it wasn’t about controlling you, not in the way you think. I just wanted to keep you near me so I wouldn’t lose you. And that fear of losing you made me do something so out of line that pushed you away.”
He was right. His actions were completely out of line. That didn’t mean she didn’t understand why he was driven to act as he had. Fear had locked her frozen in place for two years. “I know I was wrong. Just please, baby, give me a second chance. If you want to date long distance, we’ll do that, I’m begging you not to pack us away in one of these boxes those movers will carry out of here today. Grant me this one request and I’ll never give you a reason to doubt me again.”
Once he spoke those words, the tense lines in his face seemed to relax a little.
“I’ve spent the last decade of my life disconnected from everything that made me happy because I needed to pour everything I had into making sure my sister was all right. At least I thought that was the reason. After you left, I realized what I was doing was managing her life so I wouldn’t have to worry about losing her or facing my own pain. After meeting you, after knowing how your body feels pressed against mine, after knowing what if feels like to be in your arms and live and breathe again, I can’t just pretend it never happened. I can’t walk away.
“And I know you’re gonna ask how we’re supposed to make it work with Cindy. Cindy isn’t an issue. The truth is, she never was. I was the issue. So, if you could give me just half a chance to prove that I’m the man for you, that I was made to love you, I promise you’ll never regret it.”
She stared at him and the longer she did, the deeper his brow furrowed.
“You’re not going to say anything?”
Those tight lines were even deeper now, pulling at his face, yet somehow still displaying how devastatingly good-looking this man was. His jet-black hair was tousled, as if he’d been so busy rushing out of the house to get to her, he hadn’t taken the time to do anything more than run his fingers through it. His jaw, usually bare, had just enough stubble to cast a slight, but sexy shadow on his features.
“Vanessa?”
The worry lines he wore were so cute she couldn’t keep her amusement off her face.
“You want me to speak now?”
He gave an enthusiastic nod that made her tug her bottom lip between her teeth to keep from laughing at him.
“I’m glad you told me about your parents, Michael. It explains so much.” She stepped closer before she continued. “I’m very flattered by this…” She waved her hand as she searched for an appropriate description of his tortured, yet adorable proclamation. “… outpouring of affection, only I have to tell you, it’s wasted. You didn’t need to come all the way here to tell me this.”
