“Trust me, I don’t want to leave either.” She flexed her fingers to emphasize her point. “If I stay under the current circumstances, it will only be worse.”
The lump in his throat slid down his esophagus. Its jagged edges scraping against the soft skin of his digestive tract until it hit his stomach like a boulder dropping from the roof of a skyscraper.
“Vanessa, I need you.”
She silenced him. Vanessa’s lips trembled as she bent them into a shaky smile. “I need you too,” she whispered so softly he barely heard what she said. “Even still, I need to be free to control my own life more.” She cradled one cheek and placed a gentle kiss on the other.
He pulled her closer, holding her like she was something delicate, breakable, precious. He leaned in for a soft, tender kiss before responding. “I wish things were different.”
She answered, “Me too.” Then pulled herself out of his embrace, leaving him in bed while she made her way to the bathroom door.
He sat there for a full five minutes before he could pull himself together and find the strength to stand up. He looked toward the bathroom door and fought to keep himself from breaking it down, taking her in his arms, and telling her he would never let her go. Even though it might make him feel better momentarily, he knew she’d only perceive it as him trying to control her. Little did she know, it wasn’t her he was trying to control. What he really wanted to handle was the pain he could feel swallowing him whole.
Bathed and dressed, Vanessa packed up her things. When everything was inside her weekender bag, she looked around the room. It was as if she’d never been here. She’d effectively stripped her presence from within these walls.
That should make you feel good. It’s what you wanted, right, to walk away as if this had never happened?
It was. Now, as she gazed at the vacant space, all she could remember was their laughter, and the memories of the heated touches and the soul-shattering climaxes she’d experienced while sharing his home.
With her bag in hand, Vanessa headed downstairs. She dug in her purse for the spare key he’d lent her while she stayed with him. It was a standard key, no bigger than her palm. Its size somehow concealed its weight because it felt heavy in her hand, significant. She’d had access to his home as if she belonged there; giving it up twisted her stomach in knots.
Are you sure you wanna do this?She heard her conscience clanging around in her head, badgering her about things she didn’t have a clear answer to. She wanted Michael. She wanted everything heoffered her. She just couldn’t take it at the cost of maintaining her boundaries. She’d failed to do so with Karl, giving an inch every time he asked for something until those asks turned into commands. She wouldn’t give anyone else the chance to treat her like that again, not even the man her heart was aching for.
With a shaky hand, she set the key down on the small table in the foyer and saw a jewelry box with a piece of paper with her name on it tucked beneath it.
She slowly opened it with reverent caution as she read it.
It’s yours, Vee. Just like my heart.
Seven words was all it took to make the stoic resolve she was holding on to for dear life crack. Feeling the hot tears slide down her cheek, she neatly folded the note and placed it in her purse. She picked up the box and opened it, finding her grandmother’s ring. She could hear the comforting words she was certain the matriarch would give her if she were still here.
Just because it’s the right thing to do, don’t make it easy. It’ll get better, though. I promise.
She’d always believed her grandmother whenever she’d told Vanessa things would improve. Now, as she walked out of Michael’s home and his life, she wasn’t so sure her grandmother’s optimistic view of the world was correct. Because without Michael, nothing felt right.
Chapter 21
Michael stared at the screen in front of him, theblinking cursor taunting him, a reminder that he hadn’t been able to focus for shit since Vanessa left.
His cellphone rang, adding to his annoyance and distraction. He pushed the keyboard away, grabbing his phone and answering it with a terse “What is it?”
“Damn, what did I do to you?”
Adam’s voice came across the line with its familiar sarcasm and friendly teasing. Unfortunately, Michael wasn’t in the mood for either. As a result, all it did was piss him off more.
“I’m busy, Adam. What do you want?”
Adam cleared his throat, which was always a sign things were about to get serious. “I was calling to check and see if we were still watching the game tonight at your place. I’m gonna put in our pizza order now so it’ll be ready when I’m leaving my office.” When Michael didn’t respond, Adam continued. “What’s going on with you, man?”
“I—”
“Don’t try to deny it, Mike. This woman has your head all kinds of fucked-up and you’re taking it out on the rest of the world. Is she really worth it if she walked out on you without a second thought?”
Adam’s words scraped on his nerves, sanding down whatever patience he had left. “You know, it’s not as simple as that. It’s complicated. There was a lot going on and I can’t blame her for not wanting so much messiness in her life.”
“Bruh,” Adam continued, completely brushing off Michael’s vague excuse. “You’re right; I don’t know. I don’t know how you got caught up in feelings so fast with this Vee woman. I also don’t know why you won’t go after her if she’s important enough to fuck with your mood.”
Michael took a deep breath and looked up at his office door, making sure it was closed before he started. News traveled fast in this town, and he didn’t need his neighbors meddling in his business. Especially when his friend was doing a bang-up job of it now.
