“Love?” Mandisa was pretty certain she couldn’t find love on the shelf at themarket.
“Yes, baby. Love makes everything in life better. See, the care you take when making something special for someone you love, that will make even the simplest of ingredients taste gourmet. I grind those beans, cinnamon, and nutmeg by hand. Yeah, I could get a machine to do it all for me, but it wouldn’t add that perfect blend that love does. When you love something, you have to tend to it to keep itstrong.”
There was a lesson in there. It was glaringly obvious to Mandisa. She just wished she and Slade could’ve garnered this wisdom before everything fellapart.
She ended the call with Indira and transferred the ingredients to her shopping list app on her phone. First thing in the morning she was running to the market. If she couldn’t have Slade, his family, and the Havenheart ranch, Indira’s special blend of coffee wasn’t a bad consolationprize.
A tap on Mandisa’s door pulled her from her musings. She padded to the door in socked feet, asking who was there as she reached for the knob. Hearing, “Darlin’, it’s me,” coming from the other side of the door knocked the wind out ofher.
She thought about pretending she wasn’t home. You already asked who was at the door. He knows you’re home,idiot.
She peeked through the peephole and saw a blurry version of the man she knew. She could feel excitement bubbling in her heart. But then reality reminded her why she’d been without Slade for solong.
“What do you want,Slade?”
“Darlin’, please, let me talk to you face-to-face. We can have this talk in the hall with your neighbors listening, but I’d rather talk privately. Please, let mein.”
It never failed. Every time she heard the word “darlin’” fall from his lips, it was like the sweet lure of honey. It was decadent, and something sticky that she couldn’t easily break freeof.
She leaned her head against the door, touching it as if she could feel him on the other side. She’d craved him for so long. Knowing he was there, just beyond her reach, played havoc with herwillpower.
Her mind told her to stay away from him, to keep her resolve. But her resolve reminded her of the cold, lonely bed waiting for her, the empty life she’d been living since she’d left the ranch, and the pain that followed her into her dreams everynight.
You want him to make this right. If there’s even the slightest chance that he can, don’t you deservethat?
She felt a single tear singe the skin of her cheek as it made its trail down her face. She wiped it away and straightened her spine. She was right. This wasn’t about privileges Slade had earned. This was about what shewanted.
Being with him had shown Mandisa she should have someone love her completely. Yes, he’d screwed it up, and she didn’t see how he could fix it. But, hadn’t she warranted the chance to let him try? If he succeeded, it wasn’t just him winning. Her happiness was at staketoo.
Why should she lose out because of his stupidity? Why should she allow herself to suffer just because Slade had channeled his innerasshole?
“You’d better not fuck this up,cowboy.”
She backed away, turning the locks and opening the door. Seeing him standing in her doorway dug up so many emotions. Anger was the loudest of them, causing her chest to rise and fall in a quick, heaving motion. She had to make a concerted effort to calm her breathing so she could hear herselfthink.
But then as he stepped into her apartment, and she allowed her gaze to settle on him, her anger began to bleed away and concern pushed its way through to the forefront of herheart.
His face was covered in scruff. Not the sexy beard kind of scruff. No, this kind indicated one couldn’t be bothered to worry about his appearance. His hair looked unkempt, wild without the infamous cowboy hat that always kept it in place. Her eyes met with his, and her breath caught for a long moment in the back of her throat. The electric blue she’d spent hours gazing into was replaced by a dull, almost gray color that paired perfectly with the sallow complexion he wassporting.
What the hell have you been doing to yourself, cowboy? How the hell does someone look so pale when they live on a ranch inTexas?
He rubbed his hand self-consciously down the front of his T-shirt. She remembered that shirt. Remembered peeling it off him when they’d made love in his hotel room. With all his muscles, it had been a second skin. The now slightly loose fabric no longer showed the definition of hischest.
“Slade. What’s going on? Why are you here? I thought weagreed—”
“You agreed, Mandisa. My guilt, my anger…I didn’t even show up to the discussion. Not like I shouldhave.”
She waved him over to the eat-in counter in the kitchen. While he sat, she instinctively started looking for fixings for a quick meal. Loose clothing on a man that big was trouble. Something more than his feelings washurting.
She pulled out a cutting board, grabbed a loaf of bread and the boneless barbequed ribs she had in thefridge.
“You don’t have to do that.” The softness of his voice stopped her movements. Her heart ached for the sadness she saw blanketing his face and hangingshoulders.
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think Mama Indy stopped feedingyou.”
He shook his head, dipping it a bit farther as a weak smile climbed his face. “No, Mama would be shoving food down my throat if I’d been near her. I’ve been at the loft in Austin since youleft.”
“They don’t have food inAustin?”
