God, she was stubborn and headstrong. Those qualities had seemed so attractive when he’d met her in New York. Had made his blood sizzle when she’d unleashed her wit on Bull and Macy at the dinner table. But standing in her wake right now, Slade was torn between wanting to take her over his knee and throttle her hide and kissing her until the fire she directed at him was fueled by her passion instead of heranger.
“Mandisa, I know you’re mad. You have every right to be. But I wasn’t going to let Bull hurt you. I was willing to do whatever I had to do to ensure the safety of the woman Iloved.”
The raw sound of his voice shook the air around them, causing him to stumble slightly. He grabbed for one of the posts on the bed to steady himself as the surprise of his declaration washed overhim.
Was Slade surprised that he loved Mandisa? No. He’d been privy to that little fact almost since the beginning. Certainly since she’d defended him in front of Bull and Macy. But he hadn’t meant to say it the way hehad.
In his mind, he’d imagined he would create some magical scenario where he bared his soul tenderly to her. He’d profess his love, she’d be overwhelmed with emotion, and they’d makelove.
They weren’t supposed to be arguing. And she certainly wasn’t supposed to be so full of anger and mistrust that she couldn’t even bear histouch.
How far was he from the vision he’d created in his head? His pulse was throbbing in his ears with anger and frustration while he was yelling his feelings at the woman hedesired.
“This shit doesn’t feel like love, Slade. It feels likecontrol.”
Her words hit him like a blow to the gut. He could feel his center tighten in response to them. “I never tried to control you, Mandisa. I was trying to help you. Control and manipulation are my father’s game, notmine.”
She threw her head back and laughed loudly. “You’re delusional if you think Bull Hamilton is the only one that’s a master manipulator. Slade, you thrive on bending people to your will. How did I end up here in Austin with you? You made a wager to get me down here when you didn’t like the initial no I’d given you. You couldn’t stand to lose. Once you got me down here, you did everything you could to convince me to stay here with you. Even though I’d made it clear I had no intention of leaving Brooklyn, no intention of selling my company to you, you still insisted Austin was what Ineeded.”
“So I’m wrong now for being a persistent businessman and showing you a good time?” He walked over to the dresser, smashing his hand against the heavy wood of its surface. “I’ve always wanted you to stay with me. I’ve never hidden that. Why is it suddenly so wrong now,Mandisa?”
“Because, Slade, that’s not love, that’s control,” she whispered. The acute softness in her tone alarmed him, drawing his eyes back to hers. “You thought of everything you could to keep me in Texas with you, even when I told you that wasn’t a possibility. When my business was in danger, you kept that from me. Not because you were trying to protect me, but because you didn’t want me to leave. That’s manipulation, Slade. That isn’tlove.”
She walked over to the bed, pulling her stuffed suitcase to the floor. She stood it on its side and extended the handle. She pulled it next to the door and then turned tohim.
“Love would’ve had you trying to figure out how to meet me halfway. Love would’ve had you trying to come up with some sort of schedule where we could take turns traveling back and forth. Love would’ve had you attempting to calculate how long it would take for you to set up shop in your lover’s hometown, so you could work and love in the same place. Love would’ve made you do anything to make this work for the both of us. Instead, the only person you worried about this working for was you. If it was really love, you would’ve thought about all of these things, Slade. I know, because I thought of every single one ofthem.”
The anger painted across her face melted into anguish. Her eyes glassed over with tears as her voice thickened with pain. His first reaction was to go to her, to fix it. But, when he moved toward her, she took a stepback.
When did we get to the place where comfort wasn’twelcomed?
“Mandisa. I run a multinational corporation. I have to be here. I can’t just let Logan Industries fall to waste. Youjust—”
The moment he let those two words slide from his lips, he regretted them. He watched her stiffen against them, straighten her back, and square her shoulders as she left her suitcase at the door and stepped back inside the room to move closer tohim.
“I just what? Play in face paint? Make people feel pretty? Obviously, in the real world, in your world, that has no value. The successes I’ve had are meaningless because my work isn’t as important as yours? And there is the real problem, Slade. You don’t see value in what I do in comparison to yourself, so therefore it makes perfect sense for me to give up my entire world to love you. But Slade, if you ever loved me, if you even know what love is, you’d have done anything to be with me. Even concluding that maybe the only way you could love me was by leaving your world behind and following me to New York. Real love is ready to sacrifice anything, not just manipulate things to make it convenient foryou.”
She returned to the door, standing there in the doorway without turning around as shespoke.
“You’ve shown me you can’t be trusted, Slade. If I can’t trust you, I can’t do business with you. Whatever deals you had on the table, please consider this my official notice of intent. I will not be authorizing the sale of any percentage of my company to you. As for the debt I owe you for the renovations, I’ll have my attorney contact you about repayment of thosefunds.”
Before he could tell her there was no debt, she quietly slipped out of the room and closed the door behind her. One fuckup—albeit the mother of all fuckups—and she was gone. What the hell was he supposed to donow?
