“Is it Asher?” I ask.
His eyes snap to mine.
His voice cracks.“It’s my fault.”
I step closer, heart hammering.“How is it your fault?”
His throat works, a tear spilling despite his attempt to blink it back.
“I told him to go over there,” he chokes.“I didn’t check the tree, God, I should’ve been there, not him. I should’ve…”
He breaks off, a sob tearing out of him, raw and painful.
I step closer until I’m right in front of him. Slowly, carefully, I set my hand on his shoulder.
“Ethan… it wasn’t your fault.”
His breath shudders.
“I’m the captain,” he whispers.“He’s my responsibility.”
“Yes,” I say softly.“But you didn’t start that fire. You didn’t throw that tree on him. And you didn’t run, you ran towards him. You were hurt trying to save him. You did everything you were trained to do. Everything anyone could do.”
His chest rises and falls too fast. His eyes glassy with pain.
“What if he doesn’t make it?” he whispers.
I lift my hands to his face. His skin is cold beneath my palms.“Asher is strong. He’s a fighter.”
“But what if he doesn’t…” His breath breaks.
“Then I’ll be here,” I whisper.“You’ll lean on me. I’ll sit with you in that pain and help you through it. But Ethan… right now? He’s alive. He’s fighting. And he needs you to keep fighting too.”
He closes his eyes. One tear slips free.
When he opens them again, something inside him crashes.
“I don’t want you to see me like this,” he says hoarsely.“It’s already hard enough pretending I don’t… God, Summer, every time you’re near me, I’m fighting not to kiss you. Not to touch you. The last thing I need is for you to see how weak I am.”
Weak.
The word hits me like a slap.
All this time I thought I wasn’t enough for him. That pulling away protected me, spared him. When instead… it made him believe he wasn’t enough.
No more.
I step closer. Close enough to feel his breath.
With shaking hands, I take his face again.
“Never,” I whisper.“Never in a trillion years will I see you as weak.”
I wipe away another tear.
“Don’t hide from me, Ethan. Don’t hide anything. I spent my whole life surrounded by people who wore masks, a world where emotions were shameful. Forbidden. Fake smiles were the only acceptable language.”
My voice trembles.
