Because in that moment, I realize something with sudden, painful clarity:
I didn’t just push away a really good man.
I pushed away the one man whosaw me.
The gentlest, most loving man I have ever known.
“Is that Jealousy I spot in your eyes.” Penny’s knowing eyes are on me and I don’t know what to tell her.
“I hate feeling like this.” I whisper.
“You think about what I said to you a week ago?” She tilts her head, like she’s trying to say it in the most gentle way.
“I knew I made a big mistake the second those words left my lips and I saw something go out in his eyes.” I confess.
“He’s a good man Summer, I’m sure he’ll understand if you explain yourself to him.”
I nod. “I know I just… I guess I needed time to win my fears.” I shrug.
“No time like the present.” Penny nods towards the bar and I take a deep breath.
I’m done letting fear decide what kind of love I think I deserve.
I put my glass down, hands shaking.“I’ll be right back,” I mumble to Penny who smiles triumphantly .
I cross the room, weaving through people and noise and laughter, rehearsing what I’ll say.
I’m sorry. I lied, you’re more than a friend to me…I was scared. You mean more to me than I let on.
But when I reach the bar, he’s gone.
My heart drops. I turn in circles, searching, but the door’s swinging shut behind him, the cold night air rushing in his wake.
Too late.
CHAPTER 16
Ethan
The firehouse always smells the same in the mornings: coffee, engine grease, and that lingering hint of last night’s smoke clinging to the gear racks. It’s familiar, grounding. A place where everything makes sense.
Unlike the mess in my chest every time I think of Summer.
Calvin stands at the stove next to Asher, the two of them making eggs and bacon as if they haven’t nearly set the firehouse kitchen ablaze a dozen times before. I’m setting the table, dropping forks and plates into place as the sun creeps through the bay windows.
We’ve got day shift today. Twelve hours. Good. I need the distraction.
“So…” Calvin wiggles his eyebrows at Asher.“Is Leona the one?”
Asher snorts, stirring the eggs like they offended him.“I don’t believe in that shit.”
Typical Asher, emotionally constipated unless he’s threatening someone.
“I mean, she’s beautiful, but…” Calvin glances at me with a smirk.
“But what?” Asher shuts off the stove and turns with the pan.
“Well, she’s one hundred percent city,” Calvin says,“and you’re as country as they come. Where would you even live?”
