He fucking winked.
I was going to melt into the damn chair.
If I had known being with a man would be like this, I would have done it sooner. Then again, I wouldn’t be with Sheldon as I am now if I’d done that. Every part of my life, good or bad, brought me to this moment and this man. I didn’t think another would be like Sheldon. He was unique and so damn special.
He leaned close to whisper, “If you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to lick the chocolate from your lips and feed it back to you.”
“Jesus,” I whispered. We hadn’t really kissed yet. Sure, a brush of the lips here or there, but nothing with tongue and nothing that made my knees buckle. Oh, how I wanted that.
Focusing on the fire, I toasted another marshmallow, deciding to leave the tiny bit of chocolate on my lips. I wouldn’t be the only one tempted here. If we were alone, I might just crawl onto his lap and let him do what he’d said.
I desired Sheldon down to my very core. And I was a different person with him, a better one, someone I never let myself be with a lover, even though we hadn’t gone there yet. I always stuck to the roles I thought I should be in. With him, I wanted to do what was natural.
We stayed outside and talked for hours. Colleen would slide in little tidbits about Sheldon’s spirit guides or what she saw for him. It wasn’t overly detailed, more like nudges. So, I couldn’t help but ask…
“Do you see anyone with me?”
“You’d like me to read for you?”
“Maybe? I’m not sure. Can I dip my toes in and find out if I have spirit guides?”
“Honey, we all do. They are always with us.”
My voice shook. “My parents or Pop?”
“Do you want to know?”
I nodded.
“Come inside with me. We’ll leave these two out here.”
Colleen led me back into the house. We sat in the living room, and she lit a white candle. “I’m just going to see who you have with you. Sometimes readings can be emotional. I don’t read for others outside of family and close friends.”
“You don’t have to for me,” I was quick to say. I didn’t want to put her out.
“Nonsense. You make Shel smile. I’m more than happy to do this.” Colleen closed her eyes and whispered what sounded like a prayer. To who? I wasn’t sure. When she opened them again, she watched me for a moment before describing a woman I remembered more from photos than from memory.
“My mom,” I whispered.
“She’s with you, Forest. She gives you signs she’s around. Does the number twenty-five mean anything to you?”
“I was born on the twenty-fifth of May.”
“What about robins?”
“I remember there was a nest of them outside of my bedroom when I was little, before my mom went downhill. I used to watch them for hours. Sometimes she’d come in and sit with me. We’d talk about nothing or she’d softly sing a lullaby.”
“She sends you robins sometimes.”
“I didn’t know.”
“You wouldn’t have, but now you’ll notice them. She’s proud of you, Forest, of you and your brother.”
Tears began rolling down my cheeks. I had a complicated relationship with her. I was angry for a while for her choosing drinking and drugs over my brother and me. But I still missed her.
“I wish things had been different,” I said brokenly.
“I know you do. Look at you now though. You’re doing well, you’re healthy, and you have a man who adores you.”
