“The honor is mine, being able to hold you like this.”
“I’m not usually like this, with women at least. I always ask for their consent, but I don’t stumble and not know what to say. You have an effect on me. I feel so much, yet I can’t get it out.”
“There’s no hurry.” He could take as much time as he wanted. I wasn’t going anywhere.
“I still feel horrible for not being there when you were hurt.” I could say nothing or lie and tell him it didn’t bother me. The truth was, it did.
Instead of making him feel worse than he already did, I said, “Let’s keep the past where it belongs. It doesn’t matter. Only where we are now does.”
“I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“Does anyone?”
He laughed, and it was beautiful, just like him.
We stood there for a few minutes, Forest relaxed against me, my hands running soothingly over his back. I didn’t want it to end.
Forest leaned away first. “We should eat, that way when V texts and asks how breakfast was, I don’t have to lie. He was serious when he wanted to make sure I ate.”
“I believe it. He lives to feed everyone.”
Vail was an amazing chef. He’d learned from his brother-in-law, who was the chef at Untouchable. Dexen Dremest owned the club and was JJ’s other partner. Vail would fill in at the club from time to time to handle meals, much less now that he was with Jordan.
Forest and I piled food on our plates, then took them over to the four-person round table he had near the window. The apartment was an open floor plan, the kitchen flowed to the dining area, and both were open to the living room. It was airy and bright with the curtains drawn back.
“Do you know if Jordan used bulletproof glass for the windows?” I asked. I wouldn’t put it past him.
Forest paused with the fork halfway to his mouth. Syrup dripped from it in a thick string. “I’m not sure. Is that something he does?”
I cocked an eyebrow in response.
“I’ll ask Hart.”
If they weren’t bulletproof, I would hate him living here even more than I already did. I wondered if Jordan would fix that if they were plain glass.
“You’re thinking about how to make my apartment safer, aren’t you?”
I nodded. “That’s my job.”
“I’m not who you guard.”
“No, but you’re just as important.” There was no point in keeping what I thought buffered. Forest would have to get used to me if we were going anywhere.
He focused on the food on his plate. “I don’t know how to respond when you say things like that. I’ve never had someone be protective of me, outside of Hart and Vail. It’s not the same with you.”
“You don’t have to say anything. I would rather you get to know me as I am. I don’t put on any pretenses.”
“I like that about you.” His gaze rose to mine. “Although, when you shut me out or close down, I don’t know how to take it.”
Placing my fork on the plate, I let out a breath. “I did that to protect myself. I wasn’t sure how to approach this with you. I’ve been trying to figure you out since you showed up here, and people started telling me you looked at me differently. I knew you went out with women. It was hard trying to get a read on you. I was so torn up inside.”
“You weren’t alone. I couldn’t figure out what to do. This is new territory for me.”
“Fresh start?” I suggested. “No more looking back?”
He smiled. It lit up his entire face. “I’d like that.”
12
