His hands drifted from me. I lifted my head and found him leaning away, putting distance between us. That was the opposite of what I wanted, although I didn’t deserve kindness from him after what I’d done.
“I’m sorry. I was a selfish asshole while you were…” I started to cry. “While you were fighting for your life. I couldn’t even go down there.”
The tone of his voice had changed from soft to stilted. “It’s fine. I couldn’t have visitors right away.”
“It’s not. If it had been the other way around, you would have been there for me.”
“As your friend,” he stated matter-of-factly.
I searched his face, trying to figure out what I’d done to cause the change in him. “Isn’t that what we are, or did I ruin everything?”
He stood, brushing off the back of his sweats. “We are.” Offering me a hand, Sheldon helped me stand but dropped it as soon as I was on my feet. “You should get upstairs. It’s late, and the city isn’t the safest.”
“We’re two blocks from Jordan’s building, where you live and work. You’re standing in front of me. No one would dare touch me right now.”
“Cockiness can get you killed.”
“It’s not cocky if it’s a fact.” I’d never doubted Sheldon’s ability to protect someone. I didn’t need to see him in action to understand he’d do everything in his power to keep those he guarded safe.
He jutted his chin toward the stairs that led to my door. “Go. I’ll stay until you’re inside.”
“What did I do? We were fine, and then you changed.”
“You didn’t do anything, Forest. This is on me. Go. I need to get back. I didn’t check in with Barry before I left.”
There was more I wanted to say, questions I wanted to ask. I didn’t speak a word. My feet carried me up the steps, each heavier than the one before it. I unlocked the door, disarming the security system before slipping inside, fighting every urgenot to turn to see if he watched me. Sheldon would make sure I was safe.
Why did a little piece of me break? He dismissed me, and I couldn’t figure out why.
Inside, I locked the door and stripped off my jeans, not bothering to check for dirt on them. I honestly didn’t give a shit. My shirt came off next, so I was in nothing but my boxer briefs. As I climbed into bed, a chill raced over my skin that had nothing to do with the air-conditioning kicking on or the ceiling fan that ran nonstop.
I upset Sheldon. Somehow, I made him withdraw. If only I knew why, so I could fix it. Then again, I couldn’t seem to repair the damage I’d already done. He acted like it was no big deal that I hadn’t visited him in the hospital. Maybe it wasn’t to him. It was to me. No matter what he said, I should have been there like the others were. I should have visited and told him I was thinking about him, brought him a gift, or left a card.
But I didn’t do any of that. I was a coward. Tonight, I wasn’t. I said words I didn’t think I would and was proud of myself for doing so, even if I wondered if I did the right thing.
I lay in the dark, my eyes on the fan for a bit before I closed them. Too bad sleep wouldn’t come. It wasn’t like I had a job to get up early to do. Shit, I needed to find another one. I wouldn’t count on my brother to give me money. After all he’d done when I left him alone to deal with Pop’s belongings, I wouldn’t ever put a burden on Hartley’s shoulders again.
An hour went by before I got out of bed and found my laptop in the living room. Mine, not the company I’d worked for. I had a box packed to ship their equipment back.
There had to be another job in the city I could do that didn’t require Jordan to give me a hand up. Maybe I needed a change of pace, a different career. Did people do that when they werestaring down fifty? Who the fuck would want to hire me? I was edging closer to retirement.
I logged in to a popular job website and searched for what was available in East Dremest. West Dremest would be the next one. My eyes scanned through the listings, mostly corporate jobs, which I was tired of working in, even though I did them well. I kept scrolling until a listing caught my attention.
It was for a full-time office manager on this side of the city, but not in a typical large company setting. I certainly had the skills listed. I’d managed employees and run a department before. This was different because it was in an auto shop. I didn’t know shit about cars, outside of how to drive them and drop them off when they needed service. Handy, I was not.
But this wasn’t any shop. This was Jordan’s son’s place. I’d heard he went into business with his prior office manager and they were now partners. No wonder they were looking to hire. There was probably only so long he could do everything with JJ having a full-time job in East Dremest at his cousin’s company.
“Fuck it,” I muttered and started filling out the necessary information to apply online. My résumé was up-to-date. If they didn’t hire me, that was okay. At least I tried.
Instead of focusing on my lack of experience in that environment, I highlighted what I could bring to the table, how I could manage their business and employees with efficiency.
After I completed that one, I went through other listings and found two more to apply for. One was a position at a local private investigator’s office that needed help with administrative duties. Not my wheelhouse, but again, I could be good at it. And a PI? Fucking sign me up. It could be right out of a mystery movie. Although, once they heard my brother was Jordan Altair Sr.’s partner, I doubted they’d want me. I still applied.
Another job was working on the grounds at a home not far from the city. Did I know anything about landscaping?Absolutely not, but I could keep a houseplant alive. That had to count for something.
With that done, I closed my laptop and leaned back on the couch. The city was slowly coming alive with the rising sun. Here I sat with no job to go to. Maybe I should have applied for more than the positions I had no business being in. At least I had money saved I could use until I was employed again.
Grabbing the remote, I put the TV on and found an old spy movie. I could brush up on my knowledge of finding people. It was purely fictional. There was nothing wrong with dreaming though. I could be a hell of a spy, sneaking into places, getting photos of people doing shit they shouldn’t, or tracking down relatives their loved ones couldn’t find. Yeah, I’d be damn good at it.
