Star: His heart’s too big.
Star: And I don’t want to make it smaller by failing him
Aoife: We won’t, honey. Maybe they can buy a data center or something?
Star: OMG! I know what to do! Conor was just complaining about how hard it is to buy Christmas gifts for Finn
Aoife: Hmm. It’d be better though if he didn’t get it. Reverse psychology
Star: Holy shit. You’re right! What does he need?
Aoife: His favorite tie pin lost a diamond
Star: Ordinarily, I’d feel it would be my duty to say ‘First World Problems’
Star: But this works in our favor
Star: I’ll tell Conor to get him that and then you work on making Finn hate AI
Aoife: You do know this isn’t necessary, don’t you?
Star: Huh?
Aoife: Well, they usually give us what we want
Aoife: Why don’t we
Aoife: Ask
Star: Pfft. I knew I should have gone to Savannah. She’s devious!
Aoife: Hey! That’s not offensive. I’m pleased you don’t think I am
Star: This is a multi-billion-dollar industry we’re talking about dismantling, Aoife. WE NEED DEVIOUS
Aoife:
Aoife: Fine.
Aoife: But when they find out and give us puppy-dog eyes and tell us they’d have helped if we just asked…
Star: I’ll let you say I told you so
Aoife: Precisely.
ELEVEN
While I pushedthe cart down the produce aisle of our local grocery store and Jake pleaded, “Go faster, Daddy, please, please, please,” from his seat within said cart, Aoife dumped an obscene number of carrots beside him.
They were the fancy organic kind, much like everything in this place. It was all wicker baskets and expensive cheese and deli meats. I couldn’t complain—the darker environment, with its softer lighting, made Aoife’s hair gleam and turned her into one of my walking fantasies.Watching her was always one of my favorite pastimes.
Until I saw what she had in her hand.
I froze in outright horror at the bag of loose greens she tossed on top of the organic, grown-in-special-shit carrots. “God, you’re not making carrot and cilantro soup again, are you?”
“Because you asked extra nicely, I’ll make sure there’s enough for you.”
“Cilantro is the devil’s herb.” I gagged.
