“I don’t even know how I convinced him to eat the pie actually.” My gaze turned distant. “Did he want to try vanilla ice cream? Maybe. I think I said he could have that if he tried what I’d picked. Anyway, the pie broke him down.”
“That good?”
“We went back to that damn market three more times—he wouldn’t eat anything else for a week!”
Eyes soft, he slotted his arms around my waist. “What were you doing in Australia?”
“A portrait. For this asshole sheep farmer. We had to stay at his station and, while his wife was a hoot, it sucked. As a treat, once the commission was over, I took Shay to Melbourne and we chilled out there for a couple weeks.” I stroked my fingers over the ornament. “He had to settle for a kookaburra because he couldn’t find any bin chickens.”
“Any what now?”
“Bin chickens.” I smirked.
“Like trash pandas?”
“Of the avian variety. They’re these crazy-looking birds that eat out of bins. Australians have a love/hate relationship with them, but Shay adored them.” I popped my hip so that I could snag my cell from my back pocket. A quick search and I showed him a picture.
“Holy shit, they look like something from Ancient Egypt.”
“Trust me. They have the presence of an Egyptian god. I just bet Anubis was seeing them on the side.” I gently patted the ornament. “You can always ask, you know?”
His eyes suddenly fixated on the barren tree. “Ask what?”
I huffed and snagged his chin so he had to look at me. “About the times we were together, just him and me. You don’t need a Christmas ornament to trigger a conversation. I’m an open book with you. You know that.”
“Sometimes…”
“Sometimes?” I gently prodded when his Adam’s apple bobbed.
“Sometimes it’s hard to ask because I don’t think I deserve to know.” He tipped his head back against the couch cushion. “I watch every single one of Cameron’s milestones and I cherish them all, but at the back of my mind, there’s a blank space where Shay’s should be.” He rubbed his hand over mine to take thesting of the words away. “And I feel so guilty. Especially when Shay’s growing up. He’s writing term papers for college and debating topics I barely understand, and now that he doesn’t live here…”
“The disconnect deepens.”
It took a second, but eventually, he nodded.
“I’m sorry, love.”
His eyes immediately sought and caught mine. “Don’t ever say sorry for raising our son and making him so damn smart and so damngood. I’m half-terrified that my influence on Cam will dumb him down!Atomicspiders.” He groaned. “Jesus.”
I snorted. “He’s still a baby.”
“My sperm’s older. And that’s my fault.”
“Your fault, huh? Not sure you can help it. That’s kind of how time works.”
He wrinkled his nose. “You know what I mean.”
“I do, and I also know that Cam will be Cam just like Shay’s Shay. Maybe Cam will be smarter but won’t give a fuck about saving the world. Maybe he’ll be the next Blue Goblin?—”
“Green,” Declan corrected then huffed at my grin. “Look, you read enough of those damn stories and you pick up on some stuff.”
“I never took you as a comic book kinda kid.”
“Da thought they were for pussies.”
That was no answer, but I closed my eyes. “I still want to strangle him. Frequently.”
He crowed, “That’s because you love me.”
