I wasn’t born to belong to a man.
I’m my own person. I want to live my own life.
And I know that if I give in fully to this… to him… I’ll end up losing myself.
I’ll lose me. I will lose all that I’ve been working so hard to obtain.
I’ll lose myself in him and the worst part, I’ll probably do it with a smile.
“What is it?” he asks, his perceptive gaze locked on mine.
“This is going to end badly for both of us. You know that, right?”
“Not if we don’t let it,” he says, like he’s already weighed every pro and con of us being together
“Some things are out of our control, Kill.”
“Only if we let them be,” he says with a conviction I don’t have.
“You always sound so sure… but life has a way of getting in the way.”
“Again, only if we let it. And I won’t let anything get between us, Stella. Nothing.”
“What if it’s me? What if I’m the thing that comes between us?”
“Then I’ll fight,” he says simply. “I’ll fight to remind you of what we have. I’ll fight you to the bitter end, because this… what we have… is worth keeping.”
I frown at his certainty and rest my head on his shoulder.
“We have tonight. Can’t we just… have tonight?” I whisper, trying to purge the negative thoughts that are ruining this one perfect moment.
“Yes,dusha moya. We can have tonight.” He presses a kiss to the top of my head. “But make no mistake, your tomorrows are mine too.”
I purse my lips, a sick twist in my stomach telling me he’s wrong. Tomorrows aren’t guaranteed to anyone, least of all to people like us.
“Come,milaya. Let’s get you washed and then fed. You’ll need your energy for what’s to come.”
I wrap my arms around his neck and let him lead me, knowing tonight is the only time I’ll allow myself to be truly his.
When I step out of the shower, Kirill is standing in the doorway, both arms stretched along the beam, staring at me like I’m something he plans to devour.
“Why didn’t you wake me so I could join you,milaya?” he asks, his voice low and sinful.
“If I woke you up to shower with me, I’m pretty sure you’d just use it as an excuse to dirty me up even more.”
The way his eyes darken, black as midnight, has my toes curling.
“And you think I won’t do that now, why?” he murmurs, closing the distance between us like a sleek predator ready to claim what’s his.
I press a hand to his chest, holding him in place before he can put his hands on me.
“Because my classes start at eight. And since I asked my sister to lie to my parents so they’d think I’m the studious little angel, it would blow my cover if I ended up failing just because you can’t keep your hands to yourself.”
“I doubt angel is the first thing that comes to anyone’s mind when they think of you.” He licks his lips, gaze dragging over me slowly, but then reluctantly steps back to give me some space.
“Thank you,” I say with a small smile, grabbing a second towel to dry my hair. Kirill leans against the wall, watching meintently as I move to the sink and run my fingers through my damp hair so it doesn’t tangle.
“There’s an extra toothbrush in the bottom drawer,” he says, perfectly in tune with what I’m about to ask.
