“I’m not that fucking drunk,” she hisses. “You try walking in heels!”
I roll my eyes. “Just get in the car.”
She huffs when she enters and slams the door to my Audi like a petulant teenager. I swear, if she damages my car in anger, I’m going to make her pay for it.
“What the hell happened in there?” I demand the minute I pull away from the curb.
“Nothing. Just some guy who couldn't take no for an answer.” She stares out the window. “Security handled it.”
“That's not what I heard. I heard there was glass everywhere, and you were right in the middle of it.”
“So? I'm fine. It's not a big deal.”
“Not a big deal? Do you have any idea what happened tonight while you were out partying?” I glare at her from the corner of my eye.
She goes quiet then, and I finally see her noticing my disheveled appearance and the blood on my shirt. “What's going on, Val?”
“Well, since you suddenly care to know, Leonid was shot tonight.”
“What?” Her voice quivers.
“He's at the house with a bullet wound because we got caught with the Zakharovs after they caused trouble for Gela. And where were you? Getting drunk and starting fights?”
“I didn't start anything!” she protests, but her voice is small now. “Is Leo okay?”
“He'll live.”
A tense silence falls between us. I can hear Nadya's breathing turn shaky as she processes what I've just told her.
“I'm sorry, Val,” she finally says. “I didn't know.”
“You never do, Nadya. That's the problem. You're off doing whatever the hell you want, while the rest of us are fighting a war.”
“That's not fair.” Her voice hardens. “You and Trifon never let me be part of anything. You always keep me in the dark and treat me like I'm still twelve years old. What am I supposed to do? Sit at home and knit while you all risk your lives?”
I grip the wheel tighter. “We're trying to protect you.”
“I don't need your protection!” She turns to face me fully now. “I need your respect. I need to be treated like I'm actually part of this family, not some... child who you don’t trust.”
“So getting drunk at clubs is your way of proving you're an adult?”
“No!” She hisses. “It's my way of having some semblance of a life when I'm trapped in this very stifling life you've built around me. You won't let me work with you, you track my every move, and you decide who I can and can't see. And for what? So I can be perfectly safe, but my life remains the same? Nothing ever changes, Val. You all go out there and do things, and I’m just…stuck. The same day, on repeat, like a fucking loop.”
I go quiet, my breathing still hard, but something about this rut she describes hits me in the worst way possible. For the first time, I really hear what she's saying.
“I hate feeling useless,” she continues. “Darya gets to run the legitimate businesses while I'm treated like a baby. I hate that I have all these skills and intelligence that no one will let me use. Do you know what that feels like, Val? To be sidelined in your own life?”
I realize I’ve heard these words before because it's exactly how Gela's been feeling since she came into my line. How many times has she fought me, and I misunderstood because I didn’t realize I had stolen her independence in the name of keeping her safe?
“It feels like suffocation,” I say quietly.
Nadya looks at me and whispers. “Yes. Exactly.”
I slow down as we turn onto our street. “I never thought of it that way.”
“Because you've never had to. You're the second-in-command. You make decisions. You have purpose.” She wipes at her eyes. “All I'm asking for is a chance to be useful and the freedom to make my own choices. I’m bored out of my mind. Why else do you think I keep getting into trouble? I have nowhere to channel my energy!”
We pull through the gates of the estate, and I park the car, but don’t immediately get out. Besides me, Nadya keeps sitting too.
