“Oh, you sweet talker.” Mavis lightly slaps my chest.
“You can beat down my door anytime you like,” Maude mutters, but not so quietly that we don’t all hear her. Felix sounds like he’s choking to death behind me, but I ignore him.
“I’m afraid you’d be too much woman for me.”
“I’ve heard that before.” She sighs before looking at her sister. “As I’ve told you before, we need to broaden our horizons—a little free love and sharing.”
I wink. “Like Woodstock?” I recall one of them mentioning to me the shenanigans they had been up to before. I was half impressed and half in need of bleaching my ears.
“Woodstock? I was thinking more of one of those…what do kids call it these days?” She taps her chin before it comes to her.“Gang bang. I think we need a gang bang. That way, we have lots of men to fulfill our needs. Are you okay, Felix?”
I turn and find Felix on the floor, gasping for air. I step over him to hold the door open for them.
“You just make sure you’re safe. You can’t be too careful these days.”
“That’s true,” Mavis concedes. “We should talk to Wade and get his take on it.”
“You absolutely should. Be sure to give him all the details of what you want. He needs to know your expectations so he can adequately assess any dangers.”
“You always were a smart one.” Maude taps my cheek as she strides out.
Mavis stops and gives me the once-over. “If you ever want a real workout, I could show you a few moves you’ve never seen before.” She winks at me.
“Do me a favor and save some men for the rest of the Tempest ladies.”
“It’s not my fault our milkshake brings all the boys to the yard.” Mavis grins, high-fiving her sister, before they both power walk off into the distance.
I turn and step back over Felix, who looks like a dying fish floundering around.
“You about done?”
He holds up his finger to signal he needs a minute more before he dissolves into fits of laughter. I wait, and once his minute is up, I offer him my hand and haul him up.
“Jesus, how do you not die every time they open their mouths? I thought June was bad, but those two are an entirely different kettle of fish.”
I lean in closer and drop my voice. “Mavis was married at sixteen to Carl Denning, a man twice her age who beat her every day of their marriage until he died from anaphylactic shock ontheir tenth wedding anniversary. Maude married Joseph Raiden back in 1967 when she was nineteen. Both were said to be madly in love and were overjoyed when the new legislation meant that interracial marriage was now legal. Unfortunately, not everyone agreed, and Joseph was murdered six months later in a racially motivated attack. Neither woman remarried nor had kids. They survived something pretty traumatic, and now they’re living their best lives. I’m in awe of them.”
“Crap, how did I not know that?”
“Probably because they know they can get a rise out of you, so they’re more likely to grab your balls than spill their guts.”
“My testicles are still in hiding,” he mutters, making me grin.
I’m about to grab a basket when I hear a familiar giggle, which brings a smile to my face. I leave the basket and head down the aisle until I spot them. Felix follows behind me until he sees them, too, and nudges me out of the way.
I might have a way with old ladies, but Felix has a way with the little ones.
“Maybe we could have a sleepover when you get back? I’ll know how it all works then,” I hear Zoe tell Matilda.
“I’d love that. We can camp out in the front room and have pizza and snacks. And you can invite whoever you want,” Matilda replies instantly.
“Really?”
“Really.”
Felix steps forward and announces his arrival. “What’s this I see? A princess and a movie star in their natural habitat, which, of course, is the candy aisle,” he states, making Zoe look over at us.
“You’re so silly, Uncle Felix.”
