I run my fingers through my hair. “I appreciate the gesture, man, I do, but we both know I fucked up. You think G would ever speak to Amity the way I did to Legs?”
He doesn’t say anything for a minute, then he sighs. “No, but then Amity would just shoot him in the face, so that’s a pretty big deterrent.”
I snort at that. He’s not wrong. Amity is not gun-shy.
He taps his fingers against the table as he considers what he says next. “Okay, so I can see you’ve had an epiphany of sorts. Whatcha gonna do about it?”
“Not a damn clue. If I had it all figured out, you think I’d be sitting here with you?”
“If I had feelings, that would hurt,” he teases.
I rub my hands over my face as I think about it.
He taps his fingers on the table. “Look, I’m not going to pretend to be an expert here. We all know my idea of a date is bending a bunny over the pool table. But I figure I can’t make this any worse than you have.”
“Wow, your pep talk has me reaching for a noose,” I deadpan.
“Just wait. I’m getting to the uplifting part.”
“By all means, fucking continue then, oh wise one.”
He grins, leaning back and cracking his knuckles. “Alright, before you fuck with her head anymore, you’ve gotta decide what you want and be one hundred percent sure. No jokes here, Midas. If you fuck this up again, you can kiss her ass goodbye because she’ll be gone.”
“You think I don’t know that?”
He shrugs. “I’ve given up trying to figure out what’s going on inside your head. Anyway, my point is don’t rush into this. Stew on it a little. She’s been gone three months now. A few more weeks won’t hurt.”
I sigh, leaning my elbows on the table. “Fine. I’ll make sure I have all my fucking ducks in a row first. Happy?”
“Ecstatic. Then, after you decide to man up?—”
I scowl at him, but he just laughs. I wait until he’s done, but his face turns serious before I can say anything. “You said it yourself. You fucked up. That means it’s on you to apologize.”
I open my mouth to tell him I have, but then snap it shut. Of course, I haven’t apologized. When would I have done that? Last night was the first night I’ve been close enough to speak to her since the day she left.
“Shit.”
“Yup. You better be willing to fall on that sword because a whole club of men are ready to run you through with it if you hurt her again.”
The trouble is, I’m not sure there’s a way to unpack all our issues without us hurting each other. I might want to fix what’s broken between us, but I still don’t know what that will look like. The problems that kept us apart are still there, more so now with a baby on the way. And I don’t want to spend time breaking her down to convince her to give me another shot, just for my resentment to grow toward her when the baby is born. As much as I hate to admit it, Circus is right. I need to figure out what I want before I push for something I’m not sure I can handle. I doknow I can’t let her walk out of my life forever. If the most we can be is friends, then I’ll still be the luckiest fucker on the planet.
“I can hear you thinking and is that…” he sniffs before nodding. “Yep, I can definitely smell smoke.”
“Fuck you.”
He chuckles as I throw some cash down on the table. He follows suit as I stand up and shove my wallet into the back pocket of my jeans.
“You wanna talk about the elephant in the room?”
“If this is a dick joke and you’re about to tell me the measurements of your trunk, I will cut you.”
He roars with laughter as I head outside and make my way over to my bike. I straddle it and grab my helmet, but I don’t put it on just yet. I wait as Circus jogs over and grabs his own helmet.
“I was talking about the baby, asshole.”
I blow out a deep breath. “I don’t know what to think there. I have no clue who the father is, and without trying to sound like a dick, I don’t know if Legs knows either.”
“Does it matter?” he asks. There is no sarcasm in his question, only curiosity.
