“I can’t say I blame them. I’m shocked too. Anyway, let’s change the subject before my head explodes. How’s everything at the shelter been?”
She blows out a deep breath. “There was an issue, and we had to call the police.”
“What? Oh my God, are you okay?”
She glances at me before giving me a wobbly smile. “I’m fine. I’m just worried my lies are gonna catch up with me.”
“Lies?” I keep my voice even because people in glass houses and all.
“That first year after everything with Snake and Bear... I struggled. A lot,” she admits. “I won’t bore you with the details, but instead of drowning it in booze and coke, I went to therapy.”
I reach over and squeeze her arm. “It takes guts to face things head-on instead of taking the easy way out. I’m proud of you, Lil.”
She blushes and smiles. “Thanks. Sometimes I feel like I’m barely holding it together, but then I think about how far I’ve come...”
“You’re amazing, and don’t let anyone tell you differently.”
“Yes, Mom,” she teases, and my smile slips from my face. “Are you okay?”
“Just a headache.”
It’s a partial truth, but enough to satisfy her for now. “If you look in my bag on the floor, you’ll probably find something.”
I grab her bag and rummage through it until I find a bottle of Advil. I pop a couple of pills in my mouth and take a sip of the soda sitting in the cup holder. “Gross.”
“Yeah, it’s been sitting there all day.”
I lean back and close my eyes, thinking about what I want to eat when Lil says my name. “You said Midas didn’t come in today. Doesn’t he usually drive you home after work?”
“I had to go to the bank. He rarely takes me home on banking days. Most people pay in cash, and we don’t like to leave money there over the weekend.”
Her eyes go wide. “And he sendsyou? What if you get mugged or something?”
I shrug. I’m not gonna pretend the thought hasn’t crossed my mind. But the one time I tried to bring it up, Kiki showed up and distracted Midas with her boobs in his face. He practically shoved me out the door with the cash bag in my hand.
On one hand, I guess it shows he trusts me. But on the other hand, Lil’s right. If someone wanted to overpower me, it wouldn’t take much. And the sad thing is, I don’t know if Midas would be more upset about me getting hurt or losing the cash. I wince at the thought and reach up to rub my temples.
The crush I hoped would fade over the years only grew. The more time I spent with him, the closer we got. We’re more than bunny and biker now, whether he admits it or not. We’re friends––best friends, really. But it’s not enough for me anymore.
I fake indifference like a pro, but I’m not sure anyone buys it except Midas. I chew my lip—something I’ve been doing a lot lately. I don’t know if Midas has said something to his club brothers or if I’m just not doing it for them anymore, but these days, I rarely have male company besides him. You’d think that would be a relief. It’s definitely curbed Midas’s jealousy.
But mostly, it just makes me stress about my place here. How can I stay a club bunny if I’m not doing my job?
“You’ve gone awfully quiet.”
“Just thinking.”
“About?”
“You ever think about leaving? The MC, I mean?”
“Sometimes. I used to think about it a lot after what happened. But now, I feel like I’m settling in again. It helps having something that’s mine outside of the club.”
“Yeah. Au isn’t really that for me.”
“Of course not, it’s not yours. It’s Midas’s. And you can’t exactly let your guard down around him.”
“It’s not that bad.”
