I turn at the sound of Sunshine’s voice. She has bags under her eyes and looks like she hasn’t slept at all. I mean, she still looks like a damn supermodel, just a tired one.
“You got his stroller here?” I ask, standing with Alex in my arms.
“He doesn’t really use one much anymore, but I’m sure we have one here, yeah. Why?”
“Me and Lil are going shopping. Do you mind if we take Alex with us? You can soak in the tub, maybe take a nap, and I’ll even bring you back some donuts from that bakery you like.”
“Yay! Donuts!” Alex claps.
Her eyes fill with tears before she wraps her arms around me, squishing Alex between us and making him giggle. She pulls back as he grabs one of her boobs. “Every man in my life is boob-crazy.”
“I don’t have a penis, but I get a little boob-crazy myself when they get squished up in my face like that.”
The burst of laughter that comes out of her mouth has Blade stepping forward and squeezing my shoulder. I look up at him in question. He mouthsthank youbefore whistling to the prospect behind the bar.
“Grab the booster seat out of Sunshine’s car and put it in Legs’s car.”
“Oh, I don’t have a car. I can’t drive. Can you put it in Lil’s car? She should be down any second.”
“Sure, Legs. Want me to put the stroller in the trunk, too?” the prospect asks.
“Oh, that would be great. Thanks, Puck.” I turn back to Blade. “I like that one.”
“Not the others?”
I shrug. “I don’t really know the others. Since they’re not allowed to fuck us, we’re not worthy of their time. But Puck’s different. He’s always respectful and helpful when we need it.”
“Figures the only good one of the bunch is the one wanting a transfer. Good job we got some newbies starting.”
“What, no. Why’s he leaving?” Sunshine asks.
“His grandmother’s sick, and he wants to move closer to look after her, so I’ll send him to a closer chapter.”
“See? He’s a sweetheart.”
“You can’t drive?” Blade changes the subject. “Seriously?”
I shrug, not wanting to tell him I missed out on driver’s ed because I was with the Chaos Demons, and after that, I never seemed to find the time. “I prefer to be a passenger princess,” I tease, making Sunshine laugh. “Oh, me too. It makes snacking so much easier. Talking of snacks, let me just go grab Alex’s bag. I’ll be right back.”
It takes about half an hour to get everything ready and Alex in the car. He chatters away as we pull out of the compound, but by the time we hit the main road, he’s out cold.
“So, where to first?” Lil asks, like she does every time we go shopping together.
“You choose. As long as we hit the library at some point, I’m good.”
“Shocking. I’d be more concerned if you didn’t want to visit the library.” She chuckles.
“Ooh. That can be our secret code. You know, if one of us is ever in trouble. I’ll tell you I don’t want to go to the library. And you can tell me…” I tap my lip in thought.
“That I’ve switched from regular coffee to decaf,” she replies, making me laugh.
“That’s a good one. If you ever tell me that, I’ll know you’ve either been kidnapped or body snatched.
Forty-five minutes later, we pull into the parking lot behind the library and park. Lil sets up the stroller as I gently lift a still-sleeping Alex out of the back seat. I hold him to my chest, struggling a little now he’s getting bigger and breathe him in. He might not have that baby smell anymore, but my ovaries perk up.
You’d think, after everything I’ve been through, a baby would be the absolute last thing I’d want. But it’s not. I’ve always wanted a family, and that desire never went away. There’s this deep ache inside me to give a child all the things I’ve missed out on. I don’t know how to explain it. Now isn’t the time, and it sure as hell isn’t the place. Maybe one day, though, if I can find a man willing to overlook my past.
“Earth to Legs.”
