“Here you go, Legs,” the prospect says, handing her a glass bottle of Coke with a fucking straw in it, and I glare at him for knowing how she likes her drink. He frowns when he looks at me before quickly backing away.
I turn back to Legs, but she’s gone.
Looking around, I find her back with Crane and Lil, laughing like I didn’t just hurt her. Only now, looking closer, can I see how her smile doesn’t reach her eyes and how stiff she holds herself. Her hand shakes a little as she lifts the bottle and slips the straw between her lips.
“You’re a dumb fuck,” Conan says. I turn back to the bar, shoulders slumping in defeat.
“It’s not like I did it on purpose. I didn’t know she was behind me.”
“That’s not what I was referring to,” he mutters, taking a drink of his beer.
I’m not stupid. I know I keep hurting her. I just don’t know how to stop. “Believe it or not, it kills me to hurt her, but I can’t be with her.”
“I hate that you think that’s true.”
“No offense, Conan, but you don’t know me well enough to know what’s true.”
“Fair enough. But at this point, I’m wondering if anyone really knows you.”
I don’t have an answer for that. Half the time, I’m not sure I even know myself.
“Well, if you don’t want anything more, stop acting like you do. The brothers have noticed your attitude, so most are willing to back off to see how this plays out, but that’s a courtesy. She’s a bunny, not an old lady. You can’t have it both ways.”
“I didn’t ask them for anything.”
“No, you didn’t, but they did it anyway. Don’t be a dick because people care about you.” He looks over his shoulder at Legs before looking back at me. “She loves you. I can see she’s trying to hide it, but the eyes don’t lie.”
I open my mouth to deny it, but he holds up his hand. “I know you see it, so don’t bullshit a bullshitter. If this is all you want, you better make it clear to that girl before you hurt her any more than you already have.”
“Jesus, Conan, she knows the score. How the fuck did I become the bad guy here?”
“Don’t put fucking words in my mouth. I didn’t say you were a bad guy. I’m saying you’re not the right guy. Not for her anyway.” He stands up to leave.
“What the fuck?”
“Some of the guys here would give their left nut to call a girl like Legs theirs. Plainly, you’re not one of them. No offense, Midas. We all have the right to feel what we feel, but that girldeserves more than this, and the sooner she realizes it, the better.”
He walks off before I can ask him what the fuck he’s talking about. I look around and see a few brothers staring, and others quickly looking away, but none of them have the balls to say anything. Well, fuck them.
I turn back to the bar and nurse my beer until I feel hands slide down my back. I look up with a smile, expecting to find Legs. But it’s not. It’s Kiki.
“Hey, Midas. You’re looking a little lonely over here. You want some company?”
I look over at Legs, who doesn’t even pretend she’s not watching us. Her eyes drift to mine, and I see it then. The love Conan was talking about, the love she’s trying so hard to hide. She’s pouring herself into something I can’t give her, and if I don’t do something now, I’ll only end up hurting her worse.
Fuck.
I look up at Kiki and give her one of my patented smirks, running my hand up the back of her bare leg before slapping her ass. “Company sounds pretty fucking good.”
She grins, and I stand up. Taking her hand, I lead her upstairs without a backward glance, even though I can feel eyes burning a hole through my cut. I tell myself it’s better this way, that it needs to be done for both our sakes. So why the fuck does it feel like I’ve just taken a knife to the chest?
I head back downstairs after I’ve taken a shower and instinctively look for Legs.
“Hey, Midas!”
I hear Circus calling me and look over to find him sitting at a table with Hannibal, Toot, and Mac. I make my way through the crowd and take the empty seat beside him. “Boys.”
“Midas,” Mac greets. Toot adds, “Hey, man.” And Hannibal just nods.
