“Asking about my childhood scars is a bit deep for the moment,” he decided. “For now, tell me a fact about yourself that most people don’t know.”
Should I let him off the hook?I wanted to press more. In fact, the less he wanted to talk about it, the more I sensed was behind it. Especially when I replayed Knox’s words when I’d visited him in prison. What had my brother said? I was the antithesis of everything Axel stood for? Was that why he hated me?
“I hate true crime documentaries,” I answered. “Can’t change the channel fast enough.”
Fun fact. Want to know what happens to a family when one of them gets convicted of homicide? It wasn’t one of thosetrauma makes us strongersituations. Mom and Dad became withdrawn. Depressed. Any TV show highlighting someone else’s hell didn’t make for popcorn-worthy television.
Understanding settled over his features. “Is that why you like to be in control all the time?” Axel wondered.
Wow. Leave it to Axel to see right through me and land his target on something even Mathew hadn’t figured out.
“Life was totally normal,” I said quietly. “I was getting a haircut the day everything changed. My biggest choice in life was bangs or no bangs.” I picked at my wineglass again. “And then I find out my brother’s been arrested for murder. So, yeah, that made everything feel out of control. Gave me anxiety attacks.”
He studied me like the idea truly bothered him, like he had to push the pain of my hurting aside to have a shot at focusing again. Then he nodded gently. “If you control everything, you feel like something like that can’t happen again.”
“It’s irrational.”
“It’s understandable.”
Okay, that was … unexpectedly kind.
He looked at me like understanding this part of me answered a puzzle piece he’d been desperate to understand for years. And something inside me softened. Just a little. Because for the first time in forever, someone got it. Got me.
This was dangerous. I was starting to feel … connected to him. And then, as if that wasn’t enough of a glimpse into my soul, he shifted forward and asked a doozy.
“Why did you fall in love with Mathew?”
There was something in his tone: hurt mixed with astonishment, like I’d chosen Mathew over him.Which is ridiculous because we were never an option.The wine was clearly going to my head.
“Mathew’s kind. Smart. He wants the same things I do. He made me feel like I mattered.” I took a large gulp for courage. “Plus, he can reach things on high shelves.”
His lips curled. “That’s your criteria?Ican reach high shelves.”
“You also reach new levels of jackassery daily, so it’s a mixed bag.”
“Until he left you.”
My body went rigid. “You’re not exactly the authority on treating people well. Your longest relationship is with your gym membership.”
“At least I’m committed to something.”
“Your abs don’t count as a personality, Axel.”
“He’s not good enough for you.” The words came out possessive in a way that made my pulse react.
“Mathew’s a good guy.” I swirled my glass.
“We have different definitions ofgood guy.”
“You’re not one to lecture on what makes a good person. Let’s get back to this.” I set my wineglass down so I could cross my arms over my stomach.
Axel studied me for a moment, and I could practically see him deciding to rescue me from the Mathew feelings-fest. His eyes lit up with mischief.
“You know what? You’re right. Let’s stick to the easy stuff.” He leaned back, all swagger and false innocence. “Favorite sexual position.”
Heat exploded across my cheeks. When he noticed my blush, his resulting smirk made me want to murder him. I reached for the wine bottle again.Definitely need more alcohol for this.
“I’m never answering that. No one would ever ask that.”
