So, let me process this fresh hell for a moment.Now, not only did I have to endure these fake romantic dates with Axel, not only was I evidently going to have to give interviews—which, let’s be clear, made me break out in hives at the thought of some nosy reporter asking me questions about a relationship I wanted nothing to do with—but in order to be prepared for that, I had to divulge extremely personal information about myself? Tohim?
I wanted to argue. I wanted to fight tooth and nail. I even considered calling this whole thing off because this was too much. Too extreme.
But I pictured Mom with that wooden board strung across her lap, and I imagined how many broken boards she would endure if I didn’t get this together.
“Fine,” I said, my voice flat. “But for the record, this whole thing is making me miserable.”
Axel walked up to me, towering over me like the human skyscraper he was. Probably wanting to intimidate me with his size and muscles, but I held my ground. Raised my chin and squared my shoulders.
“Trust me, Sunshine,” he said, his voice a dark silk activating something inside me, “there’s nothing you could do to make me more miserable than I am right now.”
I met his gaze without flinching, a slow smile spreading across my face. “Challenge accepted.”
Apparently, I had a petty side to me. And she was about to come out and play.
13
SINNERS AND SAINTS GROUP CHAT
AXEL
Ryker: Axel, care to explain this masterpiece? [Sends image of Axel face-to-face with Mathew.]
Jace: For someone faking a relationship, you look REALLY possessive. That vein in your forehead is doing overtime, dude.
Blake: Tessa has explained to me that possessive, jealous heroes are—and I quote—“hot as hell.” She also said you look like you’re about to commit a homicide, which is apparently “peak book-boyfriend energy.”
Me: Will you jackasses shut up? That assclown was harassing Dakota.
Blake: Assclown. *eye roll emoji* I see college really refined your vocabulary.
Ryker: Define “harassing” because it looks like he has hearts over his eyes, looking at her. Meanwhile, you look like you’re calculating where to hide his body.
Jace: But wait, there’s more. I assume this is your handiwork? Found her ex tagged in this: [Sends image someone took of Mathew, looking furiously at his four flat tires,under a meme of “Does your car ride low? Does it flatten to and fro?”]
Me: Ryker told me not to put confessions in writing.
Blake: Jace, you owe me $50. I told you it was him.
Jace: Thanks a lot, Axel. I bet against your jealous spiraling.
Me: I’m not jealous.
Ryker: [Sends screenshot of legal definition of jealousy with Axel’s photo attached.]
Blake: [Resends images of flat tires.] What was that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of her ex-boyfriend’s tires deflating.
Ryker: Fun fact: fake fiancés don’t typically vandalize their fake girlfriend’s ex’s property. Just a legal observation.
Blake: Same. I’ve seen less dramatic meltdowns in the ER. And I once had a guy who superglued his hand to his ex’s car.
Ryker: [Renames the group chat to Tire Slasher Support Group.]
Blake: Tessa says jealous heroes who slash tires are romance-novel gold. You’re basically a walking book boyfriend now.
Me: For the last time, this engagement is FAKE. F-A-K-E.
Jace: Fake fiancés don’t risk felony charges over some random guy talking to their fake girlfriend. Just a business observation.
