Sylvia’s marriage to her husband, Andy, is the only real example of a successful relationship I’ve ever seen. He’s nice—toonice, if you ask me. But it works for her, and that’s all that matters.
Maybe that’s one of the reasons I’m so attracted to Rick. There’s just no one else like him. He’s so masculine, so powerful, but not in a frightening way.
He ignites something inside me that I never knew existed. It’s like my soul is on fire when we’re playing our little game. But sometimes I wonder…
…Is what I’m doing okay?
“Sylvia, can I ask you something?”
She nods her head immediately. “Anything. You know that.”
I squirm in my seat, chewing my lower lip as I try to find the words. “Geez, you look nervous, hun. What is it? You kill someone? Your husband maybe?”
I laugh sheepishly. “I wish, but no. I just…have you ever felt ashamed of anything you’ve done?”
She frowns. “Ashamed? What do you mean?”
“I—I can’t go into details, but there’s something I do that…” I shake my head. “Wow, this is coming out wrong.”
“Are we talking about masturbation here?” Sylvia bluntly asks, causing me to burst out laughing.
“No!”
“Because that’stotallynatural and okay.”
“I know that!” My cheeks are going red. I blow on my latte and take a sip, one that doesn’t burn my tongue. “But that’s not what I’m talking about…”
Sylvia scoots her chair around the table to get closer to me. “So what is it, sweetie? You know you can tell me anything.”
My mind goes back to last night’s…activities. Me wearing nothing but a trench coat and heels, running from Rick as he pretends to be my kidnapper. Then going home and up to my room…
I shake my head. “Never mind.”
I go back to my latte, but I can feel Sylvia’s eyes on me. She’s not letting this go. Of course she isn’t. And I love her for that.
“Listen, sweetie. If you don’t want to tell me what it is you’re worried about, that’s fine. But I can tell you this—don’teverfeel ashamed for doing something that makes you happy.” She smiles, warming my heart. “Just so long as you’re not hurting anybody.”
“Right.” I smile.
“Unless that person is your ‘husband’!”
Berry’s gonewhen I get home. Thank God. Returning to an empty home might make some women sad.
It just makes me feel free.
I text Rick on the way up to my room.
Hey, in a chasing mood tonight?
He doesn’t text back right away, which always makes me nervous. It shouldn’t. The man runs his own business. He’s busy. But I can’t stop myself from thinking that he might just never text back again.
So when my phone buzzes, my heart jumps.
If you’re sure you want me to.
I twist my lips and sigh. I know what he’s referring to: the fact that I slapped his hand away when he slid it up under my coat.
I must be driving him crazy. It’s been two months, and I still can’t give it up, yet he’s been there for me, ready to roleplay whenever I need him.
