29
CASSIE
The first Christmas without Mark is hard.
He and Sophie had their own traditions—they were the ones who insisted on putting up the tree and decorating it.
He’s been gone for six months now but Patrick steps in without hesitating, and listening to Sophie laugh as each decoration is hung brings some sunshine back into my life.
Patrick encouraged me to dust off the barbecue and get some actual sun today, and for the first time in a while, I’m completely relaxed.
“What did you tell your parents to explain why you’re not with them for Christmas?” I ask.
He chuckles and flips the steaks over. “I told them I was going away. It’s not the first year I’ve taken a break over Christmas and New Year and gone on a trip. They don’t need to know I’m only a couple of hours away.”
I close my eyes and just enjoy the warmth of the sunbeating down. The store’s closed for two weeks, and Sophie’s on school holidays so the three of us are spending the time together. I’m still keeping Patrick at arm’s length—it’s only right. But his company’s welcome.
“Is Lauren coming over today?” he asks.
I shrug and open my eyes. “I’m not sure. She has an open invitation, but we don’t see her very often.”
He nods. “Mark used to worry. I hope she’ll be okay.”
Scrubbing my face with my hands, I sigh. “Me too. She doesn’t have a healthy relationship with herself. I think there’s a lot of childhood trauma there, and then losing him …”
“I'm sorry to hear that. If there’s anything I can do.”
I meet his gaze and shake my head. “I’m not sure there’s anything either of us can do, but I appreciate the thought.”
Sophie bounces out the back door—she has far too much energy for me. “When’s dinner?”
“Very soon. Just finishing off these steaks and I’ll put the meat out and we can eat.”
She drops into a chair next to me. “Then we can eat the pavlova?”
I spent half the day baking yesterday in preparation for our meal today, and I nod. “Yes, we can have the pav.”
Sophie applauds.
I jump when the front door slams and raise my hand to my chest.
“What was that?” Sophie asks.
“I’ll go.” Patrick’s already at the door and heading into the living room.
Giggles float through the air and my heart sinks.
Lauren’s unsteady on her feet, and Patrick guides her to a chair before taking a step back.
“Merry Christmas.” She throws up her arms to the sky.
“Lauren. It’s good to see you.”
Her eyes are glazed over, and a pit forms in the base of my stomach.
“It’s good to see you too,” she slurs, and tears prick my eyes.
“How did you get here?” Patrick asks.
