“I’ve been thinking about Cassie lately.”
Mum puts down her wool, her eyebrows raised. “I thought that was all in the past. The way she treated you …”
“Something went horribly wrong, and I think I need to find out.”
Mum frowns. “After all this time? Has something happened?”
Do I tell her? Or will it give her false hope if it turns out that Sophie’s not mine?
“She’s just been on my mind a lot lately.”
She grips my bicep. “She hurt you so badly. What happens if you find her and she’s happily married with children? She’s moved on, Patrick, and you need to too.”
I nod. “I know.”
“I love you. That time of your life was so bad, and I don’t want to see you hurt like that again.”
Her face is full of the tension I feel talking to her about this.
“I’m sorry, Mum. I don’t want to upset you.”
She smiles, but it feels forced. “Then let’s not talk about this again.”
I nod. “I should get going.”
“Come and stay for longer next time. Maybe stay for a weekend.”
“We’ll see.” My throat tightens. “I’m … I’m supporting a friend of mine who has terminal cancer. So, I’ll be travelling to stay with him at weekends for the foreseeable future.”
Her brows knit. “Oh? I’m so sorry.”
“It’s so awful, Mum. He’s got a partner and a daughter who adore him. But they found melanoma too late, and he’s not got a lot of time left.”
She pulls me into a hug, her knitting abandoned, and I let her. While she might still have strong views on Cassie, when she knows who I’m spending time with, I’m sure she’ll understand given the circumstances.
Meanwhile, I’ll stay again this weekend and see how things go.
Maybe now isn’t the time to hit Cassie with questions, but I will get to the bottom of this.
No matter what.
24
PATRICK
Cassie’s always cold when I first get to the house.
I don’t blame her. Whatever happened in the past, she’s clearly not as comfortable with me being around as Mark is. Sophie’s her usual bouncy, happy self. Whatever is going on with Mark isn’t getting to her.
But I think most of that is because of the way she’s being parented.
Mark and Cassie both put her first. And maybe that’s the way it should be, because the once vital man—even the version I met—is going downhill. And there’s nothing that any of us can do to stop it.
So I’m sticking it out because apart from the fact that I still have feelings for Cassie, I want to be here for both Sophie and for Mark. He’s a decent man—a family man. And whether or not this is supposed to be my family, he’s taken good care of them up until now.
He still would be if it wasn’t for this awful illness that will take him away from all of us. It would be the easiest thing in the world to resent him, but I can’t bring myself to do that because he’s the one saying goodbye.
Cassie gives me the side eye as Mark asks for two beers from the fridge. Whatever he has been doing around the house has been abandoned, and when I’m here I try and pick up what I can. The last thing I want is for Cassie to carry that whole burden.
