“There’s no way. I didn’t …”
“Isawyou. You said my name when you saw me.”
I shake my head. I’ve got no memory of that. People started arriving, and I’d had one beer. By the time the party was in full swing, I felt tired—really tired. And it was weird because I swore I saw Vicki, but she wasn’t invited.
I thought the days before when we were packing had caught up on me.
Did something happen?
If it did, it wasn’t anything I consented to.
“I swear, Cassie. I don’t remember anything other than being really tired that night. When I woke up in the morning, the house was empty and then I got busy cleaning up because Mum and Dad were on their way back.”
“But I …”
“I didn’t cheat. Not that I can remember. And that scares the shit out of me because if I can’t remember, what happened?”
Tears fall onto her cheeks, and I swipe them away.
“I loved you so much back then. I’d wasted so much time and then lost you all over again. When you didn’t turn up at uni, I thought maybe you’d transferred to Otago. It was the toughest year of my life—and I tried to reach you, I really did.”
She sniffs. “If you’d told me that back then, I’m not sure I’d have believed you.”
“What about now?”
Cassie shrugs. “I don’t know what to think.”
She closes her eyes and the way her brows knit—is she getting one of her headaches?
“Are you okay?”
Her eyes open and she fixes her gaze on me. “What happened to us, Patrick? How did we lose all those years?”
I move closer. “We were teenagers. Dumb shit happens. But I don’t know why you gave me the cold shoulder the way you did. Or why you never told me I have a daughter.”
Her eyes. I could live to be a hundred and never forget the devastation in them.
I put it there, but I want the rest of her story.
It’s the least I deserve.
31
CASSIE
Ifeel sick.
All this time and Patrick’s either a really good actor or Vicki set the whole thing up.
Why didn’t I let him talk to me?
From the moment he asked me out, I was so sure he was going to hurt me that when he did, it wasn’t really a surprise.
But he didn’t do it?
My head swims.
He grips my elbow. “Put your head between your knees.”
