The sharp bang of the door closing jolts me from my thoughts, and I wince from the way my body tenses. Not a good idea when there’s a fucking huge dildo shoved in the ass. I wait for my tormentor—and best friend—to decide what he’s going to do next. I can only hope I survive it.
By the time Luca gets to me, I’ve almost convinced myself it’ll be alright. As soon as he steps in front of me, I know I’m really fucking wrong. His anger hasn’t abated at all. When he cups my cheek tenderly, I’m certain I’m about to die. Gentleness is never a good sign in this world. My heart almost stops when he draws out his knife. Fuck. So many thoughts fly through my head that I can’t make them out.Regret. That’s the overall feeling.
“Now, as I said, my knife skills could use some work.” Luca cocks his head as he examines me before sheathing the knife and unclasping the gag. He tugs it out of my mouth and I work my jaw from side to side, trying to relieve the pain coursing through me, but it doesn’t fucking work. He smiles at my whimper and ruffles my hair. “Sorry about that. I want to hear you scream and beg.
“Now, where were we? Oh, yes. Knife practice. See…it dawned on me that you’ve always believed you’re Il Padrone—The Master of it all. And that was true…in the past. Now? I think you deserve a taste of what it’s like to be on the other side.
“What did you call us Boys before we fucking earned that title? That’s right.Toys. Nothing but toys to amuse you. You gave up your title when you broke the rules, and as any good Martelli knows, when you break the rules, you get punished. Sometimes, like a broken toy, you get tossed to the side.”
My body trembles at his words and I toss my head from side to side. Swallowing against what feels like broken glass in my throat, I say, “I have never treated any of you like broken toys.”
He snorts as he wrinkles his nose in disgust. “You embraced the whole idea of us as toys in the beginning. Supposedly, after our punishments, the slate was cleared, but Ignacio…fuck him, right? Fuck all of us. Because your new lover demanded it, you went ahead and changed the rules. And don’t think we won’t get to Cristian.”
I press my lips into a thin line, trying to ignore the flash of red hot agony in my jaw. Panic is building inside me, and it’s not the sight of the knife coming out again that does it. No, it’s the fear that he’s right. That I’ve ruined everything I’ve touched…and for what? For one man? I love Cristian, but I had an obligation to my Boys.
Swallowing, I eye Luca carefully, before saying, “I… Cristian is a Boss. There are different rules.”
Luca’s disappointment in me is almost fucking tangible. “Yeah, and he’s such a great Boss that his Family left him, too. Really, it’s inspiring how much you both fucked up. Anyway, let’s get back to action. Talking isn’t doing shit with you.”
Fuck.
He slides the flat side of the blade against my back as he moves around me. I’m concentrating so hard on it that when the smack comes, I don’t have any choice but to fucking scream. “Fucking hell!”
He chuckles before nicking my skin with the knife. “Oh, come on. Your ass was right there. And with the dildo in it? It was a perfect bullseye.”
“When the fuck did you become a sadist?” I growl, only to realize my mistake when he goes completely silent. I gulp, knowing I can’t control any fucking thing. It’s a feeling I haven’t had since I was far younger. I hated it then, and I despise it fucking now.
With no warning, the knife bites into the skin of my back, digging through the flesh as Luca brands me. I breathe through my nose and clamp my mouth shut, hoping to swallow any cries. I will not beg. Yet, my resistance only seems to encourage him as he presses deeper.
He’s already got two letters in, so there’s only one more, if he’s actually writing“Toy”.The shame of it curls inside me, beating down on me, reminding me of what I used to be—not who, what.
“You may want to hold still. I’ve only got one part of the Y left.” Luca digs in and I whimper, unable to hold it in. Fuck. I can’t tell whether it’s sweat or blood that’s dripping off my body. Hell, I don’t want to know. “There! All done, Toy.”
My body flushes with the injustice—the embarrassment—and fuck, I can’t tell if it’s injustice or justice anymore. I’m so lost in my mind that I don’t notice he’s back in front of me until he taps my cheek. I warily meet those brown eyes of his, but they may as well be black given the way he’s burning me to nothing. There’s a sound I can’t place in the room, and I panic as his attention is drawn to behind me.
He sneers at whatever it is before dropping his scrutiny to me. “It seems Cristian is finally awake. But before we get to that, I have something else fun planned.”
If I had the words to beg, I would. But there’s nothing left in me. I’m lost in it all, and when he heads toward my wall of toysand grabs a cane, I bow my head in resignation. Fuck. There’s nothing else I can do, except let him do whatever he wants.
He pats my head briefly before disappearing behind me. I try to ignore the thrumming in my veins, but it’s impossible. Not when my mind is racing, wondering what he has planned for Cristian.
Smack. My body seizes as I try to throw myself away from the fiery lick of the cane. The way it bites into me. There’s no warm up as he lays the stripes down on me. He didn’t take the dildo out, and when he focuses on that area, nausea claws up my throat, and bile churns inside me from it.Smack. Smack. Smack.
Dizziness swamps me and I lose all focus. All that exists in this moment of time that seems to stretch forever is the throbbing, my body pulsing with agony. However many strikes he does, I can’t follow. When he stops briefly, I try to find air, and I question whether there’s any left.
“You know…I learned something about you when I went to your cousin’s. Do you remember that year when we were kids and your father sent you to his territory? Granted, your cousin would have been your age, but…you should remember his father’s Second.”
I shake my head, desperately trying to stop the memories from flooding my brain, but it’s impossible. They claw themselves to the forefront, to infect me once again. No matter how much I try to shut them down. Luca is still talking, yet there’s nothing but static as I’m tossed back into the sea of misery.
Rough hands forcing me down. Blunt fingers opening my ass. Choking. The degradation. Worthlessness. Lessons. Stamping themselves onto every fiber of my being.
Hatred. The fear. His cock filling me, tearing me. Tears. Useless against the man who was assigned to be my teacher. His laughter. The disgust of those around me.
Used. Every bit of control stripped from me. Because he could. Over and over. Nights. Days. Until I was broken. Until I fucking learned to beg. Why? Why? Fucking why?
“Mmm…that’s what I’m looking for.” I blink several times, not realizing I had closed my eyes. I stare up at Luca, barely seeing him. Hell, I didn’t even realize he had moved. Did the pain stop? I can’t tell. Fuck. He’s shaking me—or maybe I’m shaking from the sobs. I can’t fucking tell anymore. “Stay with me. Just for a bit longer.”
I refuse, tossing my head back, as I'm dragged down by the shards still embedded in me. The present, the past, it all swirls together. I don’t even know…know what? Fuck.
