A hand on my face startles me out of my thoughts, and I jerk before my brain catches up with the rest of me, and I recognize Cole’s toddler-chubby cheeks, his sweet eyes seeming to bore into me as he studies me.
“Carter sad?”
I give him a small smile. “I’m a little sad, yeah.”
“Why?”
Huffing a laugh, I try to put into words all the pain I currently feel, in terms a small child could understand. Though…how can I do that if I don’t fully understand it myself?
“Because I’ve been thinking sad things,” I say simply.
“Oh…” He looks at me with wide, innocent eyes. “I no sad.”
“No, I’m glad you’re not sad.” Reaching out, I tuck some of his wild hair behind an ear. “I’ll help make sure no one ever makes you sad. Okay?”
“’Kay!” He smiles and runs off, and a genuine smile crosses my lips. To be so innocent and carefree…
“Boss?”
I flinch, looking at where Marcus and Keegan are hovering in the doorway to the sitting room Cole and I have set up shop in. “You don’t have to call me that,” I say.
“It’s more than just a title,” Marcus replies, stepping into the room and coming to my side. “We respect you and your position. You’ve earned it, Carter.”
“You have,” Keegan says when I shake my head. “We followed you for a reason. Neither of us would have put our support behind you if we had any doubt you’d be an excellent Boss.”
I look across the room to where Cole is fiddling with the small number of toys we were able to grab for him. I add “Get More Toys” to the top of my to-do list.
“We can take him,” Keegan offers, looking at his son. “You have enough on your plate. We appreciate everything you do, but we don’t expect you to continue to have him, especially not now.”
I shake my head. “I’ll allow that when I need to, but for now…my son and him are the only things holding me together. If you don’t mind, that is.”
“Of course not, he loves you too. And we’ve rearranged his world enough over the last few months, he deserves some stability in you.”
I laugh humorlessly. “Can’t say I’m exactly stable right now, but I’m glad you see me that way.”
Marcus sets a hand on my shoulder. “You’re fine. And you have us, that’s what we’re here for.”
“Right.” I sigh and grab the list I’ve written out. “Here’s all the men I think could work as guards for us. I’d suggest talking to Jude first, as he would have the most recent knowledge of the inner workings. I’ve kept abreast of the Family as much as possible, but…I let too much go. In my need to get away from my father’s legacy, and the abuse my brother put me through, I may have steppedtoofar back.”
“We’ll figure it out. It’s what you have us for,” Keegan assures me. “We’ll talk to Jude, see if he can give some insight, or has any ideas of people we might be able to trust. One good thing about this group is that we know we can trust one another. Unlike the original alliance, where there was always some sort of…tension.”
I nod in agreement. Though we became friendly and closer when Allesandro and Cristian were gone, once they returned, before things got…bad, it was like we were forced to withdrawand go back to just being allies, even though we were on the cusp of becoming family.
“I’ll talk to Roman about getting his kitchen staff here,” I say. “I understand Teodoro provided some staff members, but with all of us…we’ll need to see what we’re missing besides the kitchen staff. The Amato household got displaced, so we can fill in the gaps.
“Roman will have to be the one to make those calls, as he’s acting as the Amato Boss now, but we had good people working for us. The kitchen is Roman’s domain, though, so he was able to structure the staff how he saw fit.”
“Sounds good. You should probably get Lio’s opinion as well, but I'm sure the three of you will have an easy time coming to agreements, especially when it comes to the staff.”
I hum in agreement, already going over people I can suggest to Roman. It's ultimately his decision, since they're Amatos, but giving the boy a starting point isn't a bad thing. And…if I know my son, he'll want my opinion anyway.
My son.The words echo through my mind, and I flinch at how Cristian tried to take that from me.
“You okay?”
I focus on the touch of my friend as Marcus slides his arm around me.
Shaking my head, I look down at my hands. “No, I'm not. But I will be, eventually.”
