Luca shakes his head. “Not anymore. I’ve learned a lot being gone and…after talking to Allesandro, I realized how much better the move was for me. I want to help—not him, but Lio and the other Boys.”
“Help, as in…”
He rolls his eyes. “As in help them figure their shit out. If they want to come back, I’ll help put Allesandro in his place, and remind him of the people we don’t want to be, but turned into anyway. He changed for the better with Emilio, so I’ll kick his ass to stop him from backsliding. But if they want to stay gone… I know how hard it is to come to the realization that everything you thought you knew, what this life was… Well, let’s just say realizing hownotgood this Family was for me was an eye-opener, and a shock to the system. My life was Allesandro’s for so long, and figuring out something different—that was mine—was hard. But, I’d like to help them through that process, if they’ll let me.”
“How can we trust you?” Soren asks coldly.
“See it in my actions. I don’t expect you to take my word for it, but Iwillhelp while I’m here.” He shifts a little and grimaces, but not like he’s in pain. “Can… Do either of you have a phone I can use? I don’t know what happened to mine, and I need to check in with…people.”
“People?”
“Can I use a phone or not?” He scowls.
I exchange another look with Soren, questioning if we can really trust him at his word, but then…I can always kill him. It’s been a long time since I killed Soren’s father, my scalpel misses the bloodshed.
“I’ll see if Hollis can get a phone for you, one the Bosses can’t get into.”
“I doubt you need to go that far. I just need to check in.”
“Yes, with yourpeople.” I stress the word and roll my eyes. “If you’re going to be useful, it’s better to make sure your activity is secure. Since you’re asking us and not Allesandro, it’s telling that you don’t want him to know.”
“It’s not that I won’t tell him, but…” He shrugs. “He didn’t take it too well when I said this is no longer my home. I’d rather not drop more bombs into his lap.”
“How generous of you,” I reply.
“If you’re going to be an asshole, why stay to‘help’me?”
Sighing, I remind myself I cannot kill him when he’s beingnice. “It’s not just for you, but no one ever died if I could prevent it, so I wasn’t about to start with your dumbass. But mostly it was for Cristian. He’s been one of my closest friends since I was Roman and Emilio’s age. If there was some part of the old him—the one who found me near dead and helped give me this life I have—I couldn’t let that go. And…” I let out another full body sigh, one that has Daddy wrapping an arm around me in comfort. “If he needs to be put down, I’d rather be the one to do it. Save the rest of his family the heartbreak.”
What I don’t say—can’t say—is that Tennant may not have made his choice yet. Just because he left, it doesn’t mean he chose. I know him as well as I do Cristian. Tennant had to get the people he loves out of harm’s way. But his need and devotion to Cristian will have him coming back, just to see if there’s something still there to follow. When that happens, I don’t want to leave him to make that choice alone.
It’d be like asking me to kill Daddy. As annoying as Tennant can be sometimes, he doesn’t deserve to be the one to make the hard choices all the time.
“We’re all on the same side,” Luca tells us. “Get me a phone, please. I need to organize my stay, but I’ll help in any way I can.”
“Give me a few hours, a day at the most, but we’ll make it happen. Thank you.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t thank me. I might have found where I belong now, but this will always be where I came from, and I won’t forget that.”
I nod in understanding. Just like how I can’t forget my upbringing, much as I may want to, or how I came into this life. Those situations change and shape us; for better or worse. If he’s telling the truth, then it seems Luca has had that realization for the better.
God, I hope he’s telling the truth.
Sitting down to dinner in the new house is…odd. Yet, somehow freeing. Sitting next to Jude is freeing, not to mention both Nicolo and Nario are here. Lio insisted they attend because“they’re part of you, which means they’re part of us”.It’s far different from what I’ve been used to with Il Padrone. It appears that so far Lio means it when he says he’s not going to be yet another Il Padrone…
Jude’s warm hand lands on my thigh, and I close my eyes in relief as tension starts to melt from me. It’s amazing what he can accomplish with one touch. I want to wrap myself around him and never let him go, which…clinger, much?
Instead of focusing on that, I go back to doing what I do best—observing. I’ve already learned quite a bit while we were moving, more about the family dynamics. I worry about Carter’s fear and Roman’s recovery. I want Ignacio to get his ass up. Yet,Lio…something is up with Lio. Something more than leaving Il Padrone.
“Fuck!” he curses and jolts in his seat, almost tipping over his drink when Hollis touches his shoulder before sitting next to him. His face flushes with embarrassment, but he doesn’t notice Hollis’s concerned look, or…Tennant’s?That’s interesting.
I barely hear what Lio is saying, choosing to focus on what’s not being said. That’s part of why I love my job as Ghost. It’s so much more than just what you can hear, it’s about seeing, and what I see disturbs me.
The way Lio leans away from touch, even Benjamin’s. How he hunches over. That he doesn't look directly at people. And fuck, the way he deliberately appears to be making himself smaller… I know this behavior all too well.
“Are you alright, Bello?” Jude whispers in my ear. Somehow, I slipped up. Normally, I can hide shit, but fuck, my hands are shaking. I quickly tuck them into fists, forcing myself to squeeze them tight enough to stop what’s going through me.
“Tell me he didn’t.” Lio stutters to a stop as he meets my eyes, and I’m uncomfortably aware of how loud my voice was, yet I can’t seem to stop the words. “Tell me, Lio. Because if he did…”
