Archie understood, with sudden clarity. Damaris had used him so thoroughly in order to gather enough energy to create Damian. Those few periods he'd thought Damaris was asleep or quiet in his mind was when he must have tried out the human form before showing Archie. And the winter party, when he had kept the form up for the whole evening, had burned through all his stored magic. That must be why he'd been rolling around barely coherent in Archie's mind afterwards, reduced back to his shadow form. And now he was trying to build back up those reserves. Yes, through feeding on Archie, but also from inhaling all the desire that he came across so that his demand of Archie was not so high.
You said I could die.Archie knew that becoming a mage was dangerous, that there was a mortality rate, but he hadn’t thought he could be fucked to death.
Energy is energy. If I consume all of your life force, there is none left keeping you alive,said Damaris. Archie struggled to wrap his head around the idea that a person’s life force was magic in the same way heat from a fire or human emotions could be, but that surely fell under what Damaris meant when he’d said that humans classified energy differently. Another thought broke through his musing and persisted: thatDamaris didn't have to do this. That hadn't been in the details of their poorly constructed deal at all.
Why?asked Archie.Is Ixthan correct? He suspected that you wished to hoard the power to do something nefarious.
Damaris snorted sleepily.The prince thinks he understands demon minds, but he has lived in the human realm his entire life. No, it is entirely logical. The most efficient way for our deal to succeed is for you to engage with a form that pleases you the most.
Something churned in Archie's gut.I don't need you to do that. It's... what you've been doing is... fine.His throat felt tight. Even thought he wasn't speaking the words aloud, he'd spent so long trying not to think about his condition that it felt scandalous to discuss the details of his desire.
You think I would settle for fine?Damaris sounded insulted now, and Archie groaned. Nothing he was saying was coming out right.
No! I just mean that it doesn't feel right. You shouldn't have to, to, I don't know. To reshape yourself into a form just for my... preferences.Archie pressed the backs of his hands against his cheeks, hoping that would rid them of the heat he could feel rising in him, and waited.
Humans are too complicated. Why would you deny yourself the thing that pleases you most?Damaris complained. He didn't sound more offended, at least, just confused in the way Archie did when he was too tired for his thoughts to be coherent.
Archie didn't know how to explain it, just that the idea of letting anyone know he was interested in men was enough to get him excluded from most society. His father would certainly disown him and if he didn't, Charlie definitely would. Actually, Charlie would probably pay someone to kidnap him and have him committed to a temple that was a glorified hole in the ground. But Damaris likely picked up some of that without Archie needing to say it; he was too flustered, his mental image of a fortified tower had disintegrated no matter how valiantly Archie tried to think of closing a window.
In any case, it is not a hardship. Demons do not have set forms, and I enjoy Damian's, said Damaris carelessly, and Archie got the sense of him rolling his shadow into a little ball, ready to rest in the back of Archie’s mind.
Archie sent an inquiring image, the memory of Damaris with antlers.
That one, too, was suitable for the habitat I lived in there. Humans have no need for such displays. You compete with little swords and big words instead.Disdain now, and Archie was relieved Damaris was no longer annoyed.
Staring down at his hands, Archie’s stomach cramped at the very idea of saying what he was thinking. But he’d already admitted things to Damaris he never thought he’d mention to anyone before. Eventually, he blurted it out loud before he could swallow the words down again. “I like them. The antlers.”
Damaris was silent for a moment.
Hm, he said finally. Nothing else. But Archie suspected he sounded pleased behind the flash of surprise.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
ARCHIE TIED HIS cravat with cold fingers. The fire had banked low but he hadn’t bothered to ask one of the maids to stoke it back up, knowing he was about to head out for the evening anyway.
You are tired. Damaris’s voice was no longer a foreign presence in Archie’s mind now. Perhaps it was because he was no longer scared of the demon or because Damaris spoke to him often now, but he was more attuned to the way the magic shifted the moment before he said anything, almost like the inhale of a breath.
I slept well last night. Archie frowned, patting the silk into place at the neck of his waistcoat. In return, he was getting used to speaking back at Damaris mentally, and separating such speech from thoughts meant to stay private.
I took too much from you last night.Damaris said ruefully.Your energy is depleted. I will refrain from feeding on you for a few days until you recover.
Archie blushed as the memory of last night’s romp rose in his mind. In truth, he had never slept better than after Damaris had joined him. Having the demon coax three rounds out of him left his body exhausted, yes, but he felt as light as if he were floating in water. Most nights, he now drifted off with nary a second thought and slept deeply straight through to morning.
A few days!Archie was not pouting, as such. It was just… slight dismay. Reluctance, perhaps. Strange, how quickly he had become accustomed to regular pleasure. The memory of the way he was before, furtively sneaking a hand between his legs or guiltily crushing any lingering thought of a man out of his mind, felt like the lingering dregs of a bad dream he was ready to forget.
In the back of his mind, Damaris swirled with the contentment of a smug cat.
You could take a little less each time, thought Archie, smoothing his face straight. People would look oddly on him if he were to stride down the corridors of the palace with a sullen face.Not every night needs to be three or four times.
Damaris replied, not in words, but with a thought that landed wholly formed in Archie’s mind, that thiswasDamaris exercising self-control. That Damariscouldsuck him entirely dry every night as per their agreement, leaving him too weak to get out of bed, entirely at the demon’s mercy, to be fed on again immediately.
Archie’s legs wobbled, his body overwhelmed bearing the weight of Damaris’s full hunger for a moment. He let himself drop onto the bed, his heart suddenly racing high. He swallowedand surged up, staggering towards the door before he could let himself be tempted to roll over and give in to how good that would feel.
You ought to be grateful I am so considerate.Damaris purred, and Archie was reminded of the way he was when he first seduced Archie. He had been too quick to forget just how powerful Damaris could be.
Inside the carriage, on the way to the theater, Archie’s pounding heart finally slowed.You’re just trying to get a rise out of me.
The taste of your aura is particularly intoxicating when you deny yourself, agreed Damaris, perfectly cheerfully as he lapped it all up. There was no arguing with a demon who could see every peak of Archie’s desire.
