For fuck’s sake.
I hate myself.
Disgusteddoesn’t even scratch the surface. This obsession with Noah… it’s poison. The alcohol, the club, those gorgeous blue eyes and glitter-slick lips…
It has to stop.
Now.
I can’t even look at Elijah. Can’t face him after what I did. The weight of it settles on my shoulders like wet cement. Heavy. Cold. Impossible to shake off.
“I love you,” I mumble, shame thick in my throat.
There’s a beat of silence. A breath I can’t take.
“Te quiero mas,”Elijah whispers, brushing a kiss just below my earlobe. His lips are warm. Forgiving. It only makes the guilt burn hotter.
“I love you more.”
34
GABRIEL
¡Carajo!This bed is uncomfortable.
I shift for the eleventh time, maybe twelfth. I’ve lost count. Restless. Agitated. The sound of silence is crawling inside my skull.
Elijah hasn’t come back. Stormed out hours ago to find Alex. Hasn’t checked in since.
Groaning, I roll onto my back and fumble for my phone, punching in my lover’s number. Please just answer. I needsomething—a voice, a distraction, a happy place to settle my nerves.
But, of course… nothing.
Straight to voicemail.
Figures.
“It’s gay o’clock in the morning,”my daughter would say, always one breath away from an eye roll when I call too early.
Ugh.
I drain the last of my bourbon, kick the sheets aside, and grab the phone, sending a text off to my boyfriend. Maybe I’ll just show up unannounced—crawl into bed beside him and sleep.
Just sleep.
Maybe.
We’ve been dating for close to seven months, but I have yet to introduce him to Elijah. Not because I’m ashamed. God, no. Elijah would adore him. He’s incredible. Kind. Joyful. The kind of person who lights up a room without even trying. He’s a breath of fresh air.
But still…
I haven’t done it. Because I feel guilty. About everything. Moving on when Elijah hadn’t. Lying to him about Mimi. And not just white lies—big ones. The kind that sinks into your soul and rots.
And the worst part? I know Elijah wouldneverdo what I did. Not a chance in hell.
And yet… if I had the chance to go back and undo it all?
I wouldn’t change a goddamn thing.
