“That wasn’t by choice, and you know it.” I blink away tears as we stare at each other.
“I have a choice now, baby, and I choose you.”
I look right into those soulful eyes as I speak words I don’t even mean… “You don’t have me anymore, Elijah.”
My fingers tremble as I run them across the stubble on his cheek, loving the feel of his rough skin. Tears cloud my vision, but I fight them back—needing to be strong for once.
If only for him.
Only for this moment.
I drag my thumb across his worried lips. I want to kiss them again, so badly; calm their worry… but I no longer can, so I don’t.
“If things were different, Elijah… I’d have chosen you too.”
A tear slips free from the corner of his eye just as I turn away. It slides down his handsome face and drops to the floor, joining the pieces of his broken heart.
I remember him once telling me I was the only man he’d ever cried for. It pains me to know that I was the cause of his tears… not once… but twice.
With battered breaths, his emotions swim to the surface as he watches me walk away, wordless and weary. I feel his stare boring into my back as I press my thumb to the print pad and wait for the elevator. When it arrives, I step inside, walking away from my heaven and descending into my hell.
“Goodbye, Elijah.” My voice fractures as it gets pinched between the doors. My knees give way, and I fall to the floor, desperately pawing at my temples as my heart riots with my brain. It’s noisy and neurotic. Worse than any migraine I’ve ever suffered through. My lungs join in on the fight, and I gasp for air that doesn’t seem to exist anymore. My whole fucking body protests against this gut-wrenching separation.
And by the time the doors slide open to the garage?—
I’m crawling.
Through a puddle of tears….
and a bleeding heart.
44
ALEX
Jeeesus!I curl my fingers into the leather seat as the car-service driver screeches to a halt in front of my building. Paparazzi are spread out in superabundance across the manicured lawn.
Apparently, my being gay has taken everyone by surprise. Who would’ve thought, in this day and age, people would still be affected by it? Like, who the fuck really cares? Half of the paparazzi are probably gay. Maybe they should turn their cameras on themselves and leave me and my daughter alone. Of course, they also believe I came between the marriage of New York’s beloved “power couple.” I’m pretty sure when that inaccurate bombshell landed in their laps, they had a field day. In a way, I guess I did come between them… just not in the way they think.
I look out into the crowd and catch a glimpse of Emilee and Ana waiting inside the lobby, where the doorman to our building is doubling as security for the girls. Thank God I called ahead to let them know I’d be arriving.
“Hi, Dad,” Emilee mouths through the thick pane of glass as I step out of the car, my eyes locking on hers for a split second.
And then—chaos.
Flashes ignite. Mics are shoved in my face. Reporters shout absurd questions over one another, voices clashing like thunder as I battle my way through the dense population of press.
“Alex, have you always known you were gay?”
“Alex, what does your daughter think of your homosexuality?”
“Alex, will you now become the new representation of the LGBTQ+ community?”
“Alex, where is your boyfriend?”
My steps falter.
“Alex, will you be marrying Elijah?”
