Once everyone had settled down, their attention turned back to Violet. She squirmed a little.
“So, what do you want, Violet?” Beth asked.
Violet thought about how it felt living with Speedy and taking care of the kids.
“I want Speedy and the kids permanently, but I don’t know how,” Violet said softly.
Clara grabbed a paper and pen. “Well, let’s get started on some ideas on how we can help Violet. I’ll babysit the kids tomorrow night, and maybe some of you, along with Violet and Speedy, could go to the Nelson’s Hot Cocoa and Mistletoe Party.”
“Oh, good idea. Maybe we need some toys picked up for Santa’s Slay and the kids for Christmas?” Regina suggested.
Violet listened to all the women’s ideas as Clara wrote them down. It was interesting how one idea sparked another. Violet didn’t care so much about how they got there; she just wanted to be Speedy’s woman and Deacon and Tessie’s mom when it was all over.
Speedy laid Tessie in her bed, laying a light flannel blanket over her. He kissed her forehead. Deacon was playing a game on the game console someone had brought over.
With Violet out for the evening, he knew it was time. He’d been putting it off, but he had to know what words Anita had left him with.
He sat down at the kitchen table and pulled the envelope from his pocket. Sliding his nail under the flap, he opened it and pulled out the two sheets of paper. Two little kids depending on him, and Anita wrote him just two sheets of paper.
Dear Deke,
I’ve started this letter so many times, then stopped. When I realized I was pregnant with Deacon, you were already deployed on assignment for at least the next year, you said.
I’d never wanted to be married to a military man, but let’s face it, military men make up the majority of eligible men in town. I knew you loved the military and wanted to stay in.
I loved my town and couldn’t see a life where I followed wherever my soldier was sent. We also didn’t talk about kids, and my assumption was that if you wanted them, you wouldn’t be in the military.
Speedy had to pause reading for a minute because her words had him clenching his hands, trying not to yell. She assumed without even talking to him. Speedy had always been interested in a family, but Anita didn’t know that because she hadn’t given him the choice. He took a deep breath before starting to read again.
I loved Deacon from the first, and I’d be lying if I didn’t from time to time think about letting you know. When Deacon was two, I had a friend check, and you were deployed again. It was selfish but Deacon was mine. I didn’t want to have to share him if you finally decided to come home.
This is hard for me to write because now I’m second-guessing everything. Last year, I met a man on leave from the Army. We had an instant connection. We started making plans.
Six weeks after he died in a training accident, I started having morning sickness. I grieved losing him but loved the little life we’d made together. It was a small piece of him to hold onto.
Tessie and Deacon are my greatest joys. I realized, with my parents gone and Tessie’s dad gone, that I needed to put something in place if something happened to me. He was an only child and his parents are deceased. If you’re reading this, it means something has happened to me.
I know you’re not Tessie’s biological dad, but I put you on the birth certificate because you’re a good man. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about Deacon earlier,but I know the man you are won’t let you hold it against him.
Please take care of my babies and give them a wonderful life. You gave me one of the greatest gifts I could ever have when you gave me Deacon.
Maybe someday you can think of me fondly, but if not, I can understand your anger. Please know that I didn’t think you wouldn’t be an amazing father. It was all about the life I wanted to live that I didn’t contact you.
Take care of my babies,
Anita
Speedy wiped his face. He didn’t know when he’d started crying or why. All he could think about was the time he missed with Deacon. Anita had done a fantastic job with him. How was Speedy supposed to look forward with all the regrets he had?
“Daddy, why are you crying?” Deacon said, his voice quivering.
Speedy motioned Deacon over, scooting back so Deacon could crawl up on his lap. He hugged Deacon, the scent of kid’s bodywash filling his nose.
“I’m just happy I have you in my life now,” Speedy said. He’d never voice his anger or grief at Anita’s actions to Deacon. He needed to remember the mommy that loved him.
Chapter Thirteen
Violet made her way to the kitchen. She needed coffee and something for her headache. The drinks may have been oh so yummy last night, but the hangover today was not fun.
