The dark night with the moon in the sky loosened something in Speedy’s chest to help him breathe. When he’d come back from the military, he’d been a little lost and needed to have that feeling of brotherhood the military had given him.
He’d been in Texas and ended up at a bar where the Cider Creek Chapter of Bluff Creek was at. When things had gotten rowdy, he’d stepped in to back them up. Brew, the VP, had invited him to visit the compound and check them out.
Something had nudged him to take him up on the invitation. He’d visited the next day and never left until he’d moved to the Original Chapter to be close to his parents.
He admitted he’d been a little jealous seeing the men finding that woman who completed them. Speedy wasn’t like Dex, who had zero intentions of marrying and having kids.
Speedy craved to build a family like his parents had. The only thing he’d wished for while growing up was that his parents had been able to have a sibling for him.
The turn came for Coldwater Lake, and he signaled they were taking the turn around the lake. Bear pulled up closer and signaled he wanted to stop. Here in the large parking lot by a shelter house was the best place because there were tall pole lights that would make it easier to see if Bear had a problem.
Speedy waited to see what Bear needed once the engines were all shut down. Bear grabbed a bag from his saddlebags and motioned the guys to follow him to the shelter house with the picnic tables by it.
Speedy followed. He respected the heck out of Bear not only as a VP but also as a husband and father with his family. They gathered around where Bear was standing.
“It seems we’ve missed a couple of things since Speedy became a dad suddenly. I can definitely relate,” Bear said, grinning at everyone’s chuckles. Speedy hadn’t been there when Bear had become a dad to three kids on Christmas Day, but he’d heard the stories.
“Speedy, you’re a good brother, and I know you’re going to be a fantastic dad. The way you immediately jumped in told me all I needed to know,” Bear said, pulling a bottle of whiskey out of the bag. “Let’s all drink to Speedy and his family. Know that whatever you need, we’ve got your back,” Bear said, taking a drink and passing the bottle to Speedy.
Speedy took a drink and passed it on, accepting the congratulations of everyone as they did.
“I hope I can be half as good a dad as mine was. Deacon and Tessie deserve the best,” Speedy said.
Rascal clapped his hand on Speedy’s shoulder, giving a reassuring squeeze. “If you’re worried about being a good dad, you will be. Nobody gives you an instruction manual. You justdo the best you can and love them with all your heart. There are many things I wish I would have done differently but we can’t go back. We only move forward.”
“If you would have told me that I could love them as much as I do in such a short time, I would have called you a liar. I remember when I left for the Army, my dad had tears in his eyes. I told him not to cry. I was doing what I was meant to. He told me that I would understand when I had kids that the love was so deep and so high that sometimes the love spilled out of his eyes. I, of course, knowing everything at eighteen, hugged him and pushed his words away. Now, I’d give anything to hug him and introduce him to his grandkids and tell him I get it,” Speedy said, sniffing a little, realizing his love was spilling out of his eyes too.
“I know your dad isn’t here but from what you’ve said, it seems like he gave you a road map to follow on how to be a good dad. He might not be here to answer your questions, but if you ask yourself what your dad would do, I’m guessing you’ll have a good answer and feel a little closer,” Stone said.
The silence was broken by Brody. “Seriously, I didn’t know you could say that much, Stone. I guess we know he only talks when he has something profound to say.”
Speedy agreed. Stone had been incredibly quiet and a tad grumpy since he’d come to Bluff Creek. But then, if Speedy had twenty years of his life stolen when he’d done the world a service, Speedy would be quiet and grumpy too.
“Shall we finish this ride? Rarely in December do we get this gorgeous night without wind, snow, or rain,” Rascal said.
Once they were all back on the road, Speedy thought about Violet. What was he going to do? He’d kissed her and barely held himself back from more.
He couldn’t lie to himself and say it hadn’t happened. He couldn’t discount how it had felt as his lips touched hers. As if something had shifted inside him, changing him forever. He’dhad sex, obviously, since he had Deacon. He’d had girlfriends over the years, but that one kiss had shown him that the other women had been just sex.
But with Violet, the rightness of the kiss was still lingering. She was supposed to be the nanny—someone who helped take care of his kids—but instead, he was imagining her in a different role.
He shouldn’t be, though. He was so much older than her. She’d finally gotten out from under her mother’s thumb and deserved to experience all life had to offer. Settling down with an older man whose knees sometimes creaked when he got up wasn’t what she wanted. How could she?
But that little part of him that remembered his parents’ laughter and love wondered if Violet could be that for him. But was it fair to her to even consider it?
Not only did he not have a roadmap to take care of his kids, he had zero clue what to do about the gorgeous, curvy woman who smelled like vanilla and lived in his house.
Friggin’ fudgesicles.
Chapter Eleven
Speedy walked across the room, trying to soothe Tessie. She’d been crying for the last fifteen minutes. She’d been fed recently and had a dry diaper, but she wasn’t happy.
Violet had mentioned Tessie sounded a little congested when she’d had her last bottle. Speedy had needed to see for himself, so he’d been rocking Tessie after her bottle while Violet helped Deacon get ready for bed.
Deacon had sounded a little stuffy too and had been blowing his nose.
Speedy wasn’t sure what he should do, but his little girl was not happy.
