He eyes me warily. “Joel asked me to check in on you.”
I get the message. He’s here because Joel asked him; he’s not here for me. I try not to let my disappointment show.
“He’s seen you up and about, and now he’s worried you’re overdoing it. He wants you to take it easy.”
I pour the water into the mugs and stir in the cream. “The only easy day was yesterday.”
I recite the Navy SEAL motto as I slide a mug over to Hudson. I forgot that motto for the last twelve weeks, but I remember it now. It got me through a lot of missions, and it will get me through this.
“That’s what I told him.”
We sip our coffee in silence. Hudson looks around the room but doesn’t offer to help tidy anything up like he’s been doing.
“I’ve just seen the doctor. The wound is infected. That’s why it’s been hurting so much.”
Hudson grunts, and his gaze shifts to my useless leg. “He give you something for it?”
“Antibiotics. He offered my stronger painkillers, but I refused. I don’t want them anymore.”
Hudson nods in what could be approval, then takes another sip of coffee.
We need to clear the air, but he’s clearly not going to start the conversation. So I take a steadying breath, then say, “I didn’t know about Paige being pregnant.”
He huffs out a sigh and takes another sip of coffee. He’s not going to make this easy for me. But I care what Hudson thinks. He’s like a brother to me.
When I was in a dark place in Louisville, not even wanting to see my father, Hudson turned up with his tough love. He didn’t give up on me, and I won’t give up on our friendship.
“And I didn’t know she was your sister. I didn’t even know her name.”
He scrunches up his face and shakes his head as if trying to clear something horrible out of it. “I know. She told me.”
“It was supposed to be one night.”
He holds up his hand. “Stop. I’ve heard it from Paige. I don’t need another blow-by-blow account.”
He puts his head in his hands and takes a deep breath. I’m aware of how hard this must be for him, realizing that I’m the asshole who abandoned his little sister.
“If I’d known Paige was pregnant, I would’ve been there. I would’ve wanted to be there. She was more than a one night stand to me. You remember me talking about Rose?”
He frowns. “The mystery women who had you tied in knots?” His eyes widen in realization. “That was Paige?”
Hudson knows how much I thought about that weekend. How I tried to find her. It’s lucky I’m not the kind of guy who talks about the intimate details, or I’d be heading for another beating right now.
He shakes his head. “You finally found her.”
“Yeah. It’s not how I expected it to go.” I spin around to put my mug in the sink, and my fingers catch between the chair and the cupboard, making me wince. Whatever dreams I had about finding Rose, being in a wheelchair with borderline depression was never one of them.
“If I’d known about Noah, I would’ve been there. You have to know that about me. I’m not the kind of guy who runs away from his responsibilities.” I’m almost pleading with him to believe me and understand.
He raises his head, and his expression is hard. “I understand that logically, but it’s going to take me a while to understand it in here.” He thumps his chest against his heart. “It’s going to take a while to forgive you.”
The words sting, but it’s more than I deserve. He may never forgive me for what I did to his family. But all I can do is to be better going forward.
“I wasn’t around to do the right thing before, but I’ll do the right thing by them now. I’ve got savings, and Paige can have them all in lieu of the missed child support payments.”
Hudson’s mouth quirks up at the corners. “Good luck trying to get Paige to take your money. She likes to think she doesn’t need any help.”
“But it’s hers and Noah’s. It’s the right thing to do.”
