“I don’t mean tonight. But if you decide you don’t want me forever bound to you, can you break the bond?”
Taking a deep breath, I reach over and trace up her arm to where she’s wrapped the chain –my life in links, around her wrist.
“If you want to go your own way when this is over, I won’t stop you. You’ll have everything you need to put an end to Harald’s reign,” I say slowly, which is at odds with how I feel. I want her to want me. I want to make her mine thought that isn’t how it works.
“Can you teach me how to forge the links, or do I have to figure that out all by myself?” She rolls those pretty blue eyes at me.
“I will teach you. We can also go into the caves under the mountain range. Maybe finding ore from inside the mountain will inspire you to make that arrow appear.”
Taking the amulet back from my outstretched palm, she asks, “When I do make it appear, will it give me the power I need?”
“That depends on how much power you think you carry inside you,” I explain, and she furrows her brow. Contemplating our conversation, she stares into the flames as they lap over the kettle. “I am glad you’re up for the challenge,” I tease and leave the coziness to prepare dinner.
24
RASHA
It snows worse than any storm I’ve seen this year, piling in drifts up the side of the cabin. Opening the door to check on the animals is a feat all by itself.
I work on sewing myself some decent pants and practice holding the amulet to grow more comfortable in allowing the magic to flow through me without using the bow. We sleep soundly beside each other for a few nights without any more than a lingering kiss. At the end of the first week, I wake up with blood staining my thighs and slip out of bed.
“Where are you going? I can hear the wind in my dreams,” Shaw sleepily groans.
“I have to get some washing done,” I tell him and stand, which is naturally the wrong move. Blood runs down my leg, and embarrassment flares as I try to find a coat long enough to cover myself.
“What are you doing?” He gathers the pillow under his chin to look at me.
Aware my messy hair is clinging to my sweaty face, I dart out, “I have to go.” Taking the nearest rag I can find, I clean my leg and hold it to stop the flow from making more of a mess.
“Rasha?” Shaw isn’t wearing a shirt when he comes out of thebedroom to find me tearing apart a second rag. He closes his mouth when he sees the trickle of blood that won’t quit decorating my white skin and walks past me to where he keeps his herbs.
“It’s okay to bleed. It makes you a woman,” he says. Absurdly, I want to cry.
“This means a month has passed since Jorvik and I prepared to leave for Yule.”
“Sounds about right. That gives us less than two months of winter to find the reindeer before the pass thaws.” He counts the days of a moon cycle under his breath while muddling herbs in a stone mortar. “Go back to the warm bed.” He picks up one of the rags I furiously shredded. I ignore him and watch instead as he spoons the herbs onto the cloth.
“You can’t be serious. Why would you let me back in your bed?” I ask, and he leaves the kitchen table to walk me to the room. I try to fold over the blanket where I’ve bleed through the sheets, but he stops me and kisses my knuckles.
“What do you do when you bleed? Hide?” he asks. I sit, folding the clean rag nicely for myself.
“I don’t tell anyone when I bleed. I usually stay in the women’s longhouse, or if I am out on a hunt, I hide it.” I feel about an inch tall now that the words have left my lips. Jorvik’s whole plan was to use my womb to gain status. He was prepared to flaunt my dependable cycle, but here I am cowering.
Shaw tucks my hair behind my ears and gently pushes my shoulders so I lay back in the warm pillows.
“Can I?”
I nod, curiously watching as he lifts my tunic and spreads the herb-coated cloth over my abdomen. “I never would have taken you for a man who dotes on someone.” I attempt to break the awkward silence.
“I’m sure you can return the favor in time.” His hands work over my stomach, making me want to return the favor sooner rather than later. Deliberately, he massages my hips until my lower spine releases the taut stress of the past week. I melt into the bed as Shaw kisses my forehead and leaves for a moment, only to comeback with hot water in a bowl, fresh rags, and cups of breakfast tea.
“I have a sister and a mother,” he starts to say, and I sit up on my elbows. Wrapping my stomach in the hot, steamy cloth makes the swollen ache disappear.
“They live with your brother?” I gobble up the tiny morsel of information.
“My brothers, yes. Vidarr is a twin. I have two younger brothers and my sister. I wonder what my sister looks like sometimes. If she has grown into a woman like you, or if she’s taken up a craft.”
“I’m sure she’ll be happy to see you. I can hear the trepidation in your voice, Shaw. Time heals,” I assure him, even though I don’t know if I am being truthful.
