“We will need to stop at my village and warn them,” she adds, wrapping her hands around my forearms.
“Alright. After we see how the bow works. Now, you can stay back here if you want to rest, or you can sit up front with me. I can’t answer the thousands of questions swimming behind those beautiful eyes all at once. Is that fair?”
Watching her suck her pink bottom lip into her mouth, I almost say fuck it and tell her everything, but Aslaug jumps into the bed of the sled with a fuzzy, white rabbit between her strong jaws. Rasha moves away from me to scratch Aslaug’s head and take the rabbit from her.
“Fair for now. We should cook this before we go so we aren’t hungry and grumpy the rest of the day,” she says, climbing down from the sled.
21
RASHA
The warm, little rabbit is dead when Aslaug drops it in my hands, but I break its neck anyway to be sure. Knowing how easy death could have found either of us last night makes my stomach turn, and maybe it softens my anger at Shaw, if only for a heartbeat.
He knew what was down there and never told me, which pisses me off. On my way through the snow, the massive reindeers paw the ground, and I stop to give them a closer look. Last night in the dark, through my frozen eyelashes, I couldn’t see how beautiful they were. Reindeer this large haven’t been seen in a hundred years. I move closer to the left one’s velvety nose and reach for the bridge of her fuzzy face.
“Hello,” I coo, and she lifts her head to see me. Her rectangle eyes are bright gold with a black center. I try to stay mad at Shaw, but how can I now? I am here, face to face, with an epic reindeer because he trusted me to open the tomb. Leaving the reindeer, I pat the pants he gave me to wear, looking for a knife. I realize I’ll have to return to the sled to get one.
“Here,” Shaw offers, walking casually toward me with the handle of the blade out.
“Thank you.” I kneel to strip the fur from the rabbit’s body. It comes off in one clean pull, and then I start to gut it.
Shaw brings over a small pile of wood and builds a fire. I feel him watching me, but I stay focused on gutting the rabbit. The warm, little organs slipping through my chapped hands remind me of my fear from last night. I don’t know if I shiver from the cold or from the remnants of my ordeal. Shaw lights the fire and hands me a decent stick to skewer its body.
“You’re very good at cleaning that rabbit,” he says, taking a seat across from me. I ignore his feeble attempt at a compliment. He takes the bloody organs out of the snow where I tossed them and hand feeds them to Aslaug. She’s purring like a giant barn cat and licking his hands in a lovely way. Thehandsthat were all over me earlier. The foolish part of my heart wants him to touch me again.
Shaking my head as if I can shake away my problems, I sit by the fire to slowly turn the skewer. Aslaug trots into the woods, leaving Shaw to rub his jaw with tangible apprehension.
“My parents taught me how to hunt.” I give in a fraction. Keeping his elbows on his knees, he lifts his face to look at me across the dancing flames.
“They are no longer in this world?” he asks, and I shake my head.
“They married without consent, and my father refused to pledge a clan, so they left civilization. From what they told us, my mother was happy to be free, and they lived alongside the creatures of the forest. Jorvik came first, and I came second. Sometimes I am afraid that what I remember of my childhood is all but a lovely dream, and it wasn’t as wonderful in reality.”
“I am sure there were hard days. No one can control their body the way you did in the fjord if they haven’t experienced plunging into ice water before.”
A laugh escapes my lips. “At the rise of Spring, my father used to make us dunk ourselves in a defrosting lake or river so we would know what to do if we ever had to escape freezing waters.”
“Sounds like he was a good teacher.”
“He was.” I shut down and wrap my arms around my legs.Talking about them is always hard. They thought what they were doing was right and that we would live abundantly in the mountains, but they didn’t plan for the clans and their death. Shaw doesn’t pry, instead he walks around the fire to turn the skewer when I all but give up.
We eat while the reindeer dig up enough underbrush to make themselves happy. After covering our tracks, Shaw takes a small knife and slits his palm. I pretend I’m busy securing our things to the sled as I watch him draw runes on the tree trunks and in the snow. Sliding over on the bench when he comes to sit next to me, I can’t keep my eyes from darting from his to the reindeer in front of us.
“Are you going to ask me about the runes?” he questions, taking up the reins.
“Nope,” I reply, and he snaps the leather, making the reindeer move forward and gain momentum.
The trees shimmer with melting snow as we leave our safe clearing and head deep into the unknown. Midday sun streaks through the ice, casting rainbows of color across the untouched forest. Aslaug leaps into the bed of the sled and curls up in our blankets to hitch a ride the rest of the way. After a while, my eyes grow heavy with the smooth movement of the sled, and I start to drift into Shaw’s shoulder.
“You can be mad and rest at the same time,” he whispers over the wind whipping around our faces. His leg hooks onto mine to keep me from being tossed as the reindeer bank a hard left to avoid a frozen brook.
“Can I trust you?” I twist into his body.
“I want to say yes, but there are things you don’t know. They are my burdens to carry.” He keeps his eyes forward.
“I can carry them with you? I am no stranger to burdens.” I don’t know why I’m offering when it seems he’s already given me his burdens without explaining what they are.
“I don’t deserve that kindness,” he says.
