“For fuck’s sake,” I curse, pushing the end of the broken sword into the hot coals and setting the hammer to rest. Ripping my sweaty tunic off my body, I run my grime coated hands through my hair and stifle a scream.
I need to open the tomb so I can finally make peace with whathappened. That is why I am here. I know that’s what the stars pointed to, but what I didn’t expect is a woman in my way or a chance at finding a partner when I thought my love had been lost.
Kneeling at the forge, I lay my forehead against the scalding clay and stone kiln, drinking in the power from the wafting flames. My chest slowly releases the tension I haven’t found an outlet for since I watched him manhandle her.
Finding the bow to bring to the reindeer herd would be easier if I didn’t feel this allegiance to Rasha. She won’t break free from Jorvik and Harald without a sizable fight. Wandering alone around the mountains all these years, I was certain my path to redemption would have nothing to do with earning love from a woman. Maybe I have gone too long without and now am so starved I am confusing my place within the realms?
Sighing, I drink the last of the honeyed wine, tasting her lips on the rim, and dunk my head in the freezing bathwater. I shave my face and the sides of my scalp to show off the whorls of blue tattoos. It’s rare that I miss my form, but tonight, I wish in humility, of course, that I could stroll into the Hall as I see myself, not in the body I have been reduced to.
Choosing the finest tunic I brought with me, I lace up the sides, wondering foolishly what she’ll think of the two embroidered lynx crawling up the soft fabric. My own suede pouch of Divination tools weighs heavy in my palm. By the time I close up the forge, there are many people outside because not everyone will be let into Harald’s inner circle.
Vikings made small fires around the roads, leading from the Yule log to the Aske Stronghold, where they plan to drink and ask the gods to foretell their futures. Blending into the group going into the courtyard, I gaze up the stairwell, looking for her, when I know she is already seated in the Hall, but I can’t help myself. I am a fool who wishes to know what she tastes like, regardless of how her love will damn me.
I see her pathetic brother before he sees me. Jorvik does a double take, making sure it is me, after bidding goodbye to a groupof men and women who enter the Hall. Instead of blending in with the next group of Vikings, I remain still.
“You have no idea what it takes to make me falter, Jorvik.” I deal the first unforgiving blow. Jorvik gives me his best intimidating stare and crosses the courtyard with his long legs and lanky frame.
“We need not be enemies.” He meets me, and like a true politician, offers us a path forward into the Hall.
“Were you absent earlier today? You saw how he treated her. The women are Vikings. They have the right to hunt, to hold a weapon, and to choose a partner,” I spit back.
“You live alone, Shaw. You don’t know what is at stake here.”
“I know that she is worthy of more than this. All the women are,” I respond through my clenched jaw. My hand is wrapped around the hilt of my axe, but I cannot kill Rasha’s brother.
“Look, stay away from her,” Jorvik whispers, pushing his hand into my chest. I push him back without thinking, and he comes at me again. Taking the handle of my axe, I bash into his boney, little chest. Anger rushes through my arms and legs, making me want to split his head open.
Soft hands are around my elbows, and I stop, turning in the anticipation of seeing crimson hair, but I see a short brunette. Recognizing her from all the times I’ve seen Rasha in the village, I lower the axe.
“We are not fighting tonight, boys,” Joanna scolds. Jorvik takes a number of steps back, keeping his eyes on me, which are the same as Rasha’s. “I’ll keep him company tonight. Jorvik, please calm down,” the brunette adds, staying in between us. I slip the axe back into my belt and watch Jorvik turn on his heels and stomp into the Hall.
“I had it under control,” I say as her face breaks into a cheeky smile.
“It’s Joanna if you don’t know,” she replies.
“Shaw, but I’m assuming I’ve been the topic of a few conversations.” I hold out my elbow, and she loops her hand around my arm. A small crown of holly with little red berries is woven nicely inher thin, brown hair. I have the urge to ask her about Rasha, but that seems too forward.
“Jorvik overestimates his abilities,” Joanna murmurs while we head into the Hall.
“He has good reason to be worried. The women were very brave today, offering the hunting bow.”
“They see her as their way out. I won’t lie, I am afraid.” She dares a glance up at me as we walk around cedar laced fires, the sweet smell making the overly large room cozy.
“I never thanked you for your help with the lynx. I appreciate your discretion,” I reply, hoping she’ll remember how brave she was that night.
“I wasn’t surprised she found a strange creature in need. Rasha always ropes me into something crazy. She will find Skadi’s tomb if it exists, I have no doubt, but will it be enough to protect us? That is my fear. The gods don’t walk our land. We have to protect ourselves,” she rambles on, and I lead us closer to the head table, finding an empty place at the end of one of the long tables. “Don’t you think?” she asks, breaking away to sit across from me on a bench.
“Tonight we will ask the gods. That is what the Divination feast is for, isn’t it? To ask for clarity on our lives and find a direction forward.”
“I can see why she likes you.” Joanna leaves the bemused smile on her thin lips, like she knows something I don’t. Rasha sits at the head table with Harald on her left and her brother on her right. Our eyes meet for a heartbeat, and I return my focus to Joanna.
“She shouldn’t like me.” I lean my elbows forward on the table. The setting sun gives the Hall a golden, fiery hue. Dried apples and fruits hang against boughs of evergreen around every post and pillar. Mistletoe and holly decorate the tables, and basins of fire fight to reach the tall ceiling.
Joanna stays close, chatting about hunting and asking me a thousand questions about making the best arrows for taking down a variety of prey. I can’t say I’ve missed this type of onslaught conversation, but she is rather endearing.
As darkness takes over and night befalls us, plates of food are cleared, and half the fires are snuffed out to create a smoky atmosphere. Pipes are passed around with a concoction of herbs made to enhance the rune readings, but I pass.
Harald stands, and the room quiets, and my gaze once again finds hers. She takes his hand to stand, but her blue eyes stay fixed on mine, like earlier today when I know she saw me in the ceremonial circle. I could have come forward. I should have supported her, but my path home stopped me. I won’t let what I’ve done get in the way of helping her.
