I fire a message back.
Still in Bath. Want me to come to yours?
His reply is instantaneous.
OMG where were you?
I’m out with Daisy and Mr B. But I can meet you at Casks if you want?
Yes, please.
We’re nearly done here, so I’ll wait for you outside.
I’m already outside. I can’t fucking stand it in there any more.
Okay, on my way over.
It takes me almost quarter of an hour to finish up with Owen and Daisy and walk from Angelo’s to Casks. Harry stands on the opposite side of the road outside Sainsbury’s Local, leaning against a filthy-looking bin. He has a packof beers in his hand, and as I get closer, the mystery of his apparent random messages becomes obvious.
Harry is drunk.
“Orrrrlaaandohh!” he yells, his Westcountry accent bursting through his inebriation. He thrusts the three remaining beers towards me. “I got the most expensive ones because I know you’re a snob.”
“Thank you, darling,” I say, accepting the cans and ignoring the weird looks from passersby. Jubel. Peach and mango flavoured beer, interesting.
“They’re lush, by the way. I think this might be my new favourite drink.” Harry’s eyes aren’t quite focusing on me.
“How much did you drink at Casks? And did you eat anything at all to absorb the alcohol?”
Harry pokes me in the chest with a stiff finger. “The menu was wank.”
“You have already mentioned that.”
“Did I? When?”
Oh, Jesus.
At that moment, a group of people wearing Bath Centurions’ shirts spill out of a bar next to Sainsbury’s.
“Oh my god, it’s Harry Ellis!” one of them yells. “Can we get selfies?”
“I don’t think that’s a good id—” I try to say, but they’re already beside him, spreading their fingers in peace signs and poking their tongues out.
Harry wraps his arms around two shoulders and smiles as they snap away.
“Great game today. Shame you lost by a point, but it was—”
“I didn’t even play!” Harry shouts, dropping his arms from the strangers’ necks and stumbling backwards.
I swoop in to fill the gap, catching him before he tumbles into the road.
“Oh my god, he’s so drunk,” another one says.
“We need to get you home now,” I say to Harry, but loud enough for everyone to hear.
“Oh, do you see how he looks after him?” one girls says. “May this typeof love find me.”
Her friend crosses her fingers and glances up at the night sky. “Praise our Lord, Tumbleweed Keanu.”
