I’d gotten used to living like this. Feeling this way. I’d gotten used to the hole in my heart and the mess in my head. I used to think things would get easier as time went on, but they didn’t. They just became easier to push aside and pretend they didn’t exist.
And now there was a boy who wanted to dismantle every brick I’d placed so carefully over the last decade until nothing stood between us.
“Mom,” I whispered, plucking at the frozen grass. “Tell me what to do.”
Tell me it’s okay to let myself have this.
Tell me not to be afraid.
Tell me that no matter what happens, I’ll be okay.
I was going to break. I knew it. I could feel it coming.
Dakota Voss was slipping past my walls and deep beneath my skin without me feeling a thing.
I was going to cave—it was only a matter of time.
And thatexcitedme. I was anticipating the thrill of it. The uncertainty of all of it.
I didn’t want to be seen—and yet I did. Desperately. It was a fierce need he’d awakened that warred with the voice in my head that had been screeching the same words over and over:don’t see me, don’t look at me, don’t see me, don’t look at me.
Because once anyone looked close enough, they’d see there was nothing worth looking at.
Maybe it was time I stopped overthinking it, stopped trying to fight it.
But every time I followed that train of thought, at the end was a horrible, stark reminder of what every outcome would be; I’d always lose, because no matter how much effort I put in, thethings I cared about were inevitably stolen from my grasp in the most awful way.
Hands suddenly covered my eyes and a shock of terror flashed through me. A deep, scratchy voice whispered in my ear, “Caught you.”
The scent of something sweet and smoky engulfed me, sent a blistering rush of excitement through my frozen bones.
“Weird place to hang out,” Dakota murmured, and I could hear the smile in his voice.
He pulled his hands away and came around to face me.
Eyes full of mischief, lips quirked up in a smile. I got stuck on that freckle in the corner of his mouth.
A cold finger traced one of my eyebrows.
I dug my teeth into my bottom lip as hard as I could, then startled when Dakota reached down and placed his thumb on my lip, pulling it free.
“Don’t do that,” he murmured, his eyes locked on my mouth. “I don’t like it when you hurt yourself.” His gaze lifted to mine. “But you can bitemewhenever you want.”
I scoffed and shoved his hand away, but he just laughed.
“What’re you doing out here? Surprised you got over the wall this time,” he said, smiling a little.
I shook my head again. “Nothing, I just…missed my family. I used to visit them back home every week, and now…”
Dakota hummed. “Is that who’s in the picture you keep in your notebook?”
I scowled at him. “You went through my shit?”
God, he was such a nosy bastard. And why the fuck did Ilikethat?
Dakota shrugged. “You left it on your bed and it was sticking out. I was curious.”
“Of course you don’t even apologize,” I muttered.
