I swallowed past the thick lump in my throat, my nose prickling and eyes welling up. I let my head drop and pushed my face into the bed, not wanting to cry right now.
This had been one hell of a night.
When I raised my head again, Reese’s eyes were closed, his lips slightly parted, his hand still in my hair. I took his hand, placed a kiss in the center of his palm, then pushed to my feet.
I took the razors out of my pocket—still in the hand towel—and tucked them into the back corner of one of my drawers. Then I took off my pants, turned off the overhead light, and climbed over Reese. He immediately pressed back into me, and I wrapped my arms around him, holding him tight against me, slipping one foot through his legs.
Tomorrow was gonna be a really rough day for both of us.
I didn’t fall asleep, too wired, too worried, and too angry. I just lay there listening to him breathe, feeling the steady rise and fall of his chest, the rhythmic beat of his heart.
That heart that I wanted to be mine.
I didn’t know what love looked like, or felt like…but if I had to imagine, I thought it would be something like this. I knew what being lonely felt like—and it was the opposite of this.
And just like he wanted to keep me, I wanted to keep him right back.
Keep him safe, keep him happy, keep him smiling, keep him grounded. I wanted to give him everything he needed, everything that had been missing in his life.
I’d give him anything he asked for. Do anything he asked of me.
I just hoped he never asked me to leave.
25
TELL ME THIS IS REAL, OR ELSE I’LL JUST PRETEND
REESE
Iwasn’t sure how long I’d been in the bathroom, but it was long enough that I’d gone through the full range of emotions and then done it again.
I felt like laughing and crying and raging all at once.
I’d woken up with Dakota wrapped around me, sound asleep. At first, I’d just snuggled closer to his warmth, but after a few moments, bits and pieces of last night had started to infiltrate the lazy peace I was drifting in, and an intense panic had zapped through my body.
I’d fallen out of bed and then locked myself in the bathroom. Looking in the mirror only confirmed that the past few days hadn’t been a dream.
I’d thrown up, then brushed my teeth and taken a shower, but none of that had helped calm the anxiety racing through my veins.
It didn’t help that I could only remember vague snippets of yesterday. I’d gone out walking, that was clear in my memory. I’d walked all the way to a frat house that was having a party, went inside and drank a lot…
But the night got hazy around the third or fourth drink. I remembered laughing with someone, people cheering, someone shouting.
I remembered Dakota. Sort of. Everything was just a flurry of images that didn’t make sense. Had there been a fight? Why was Dakota at that party? Had hereallybeen there? When did we come back here?
Fuck.
I scrubbed my hands down my face and groaned, then jumped when there was a knock at the door.
“Reese?”
I gripped the edge of the counter, heart pounding.
“Are you okay? Do you need help?”
He sounded so sleepy and sincere, so sweetlyhim, that I couldn’t stop the tidal wave of affection that crashed through me. I squeezed my eyes shut as my lip trembled, and I picked up the hoodie I’d thrown on the floor since I was buck naked.
Another knock came, harder this time. “Reese? I’m busting the goddamn door down if you don’t answer me.”
