The sexual aggression had hit me hard this time, for some reason; had been stronger than the rest of it—for a while, at least.
I’d never come so many times during a storm. Never been turned on to the point of losing myself. I truly was an animal when I was like that; no rational thoughts entered my mind, nothing to suggest that I was human at all.
An overwhelming emotion surged in my chest, a tight knot forming. My breath hitched, my nose prickled, and the most crushing panic flashed through me.
“What’s wrong?”
I turned my head to find Cain looking up at me with concern etched into his features.
Concern forme.
Me.
The animal that had tried tokill him.
I wanted to see those two deep grooves beside his mouth when he smiled. To see the crinkly lines that appeared next to his eyes. I didn’t like the dents between his brows, the frown pulling at his mouth.
“I’m sorry.” I choked on the words, turning my face away.
“What’re you sorry for?”
Being held in his arms like this, carried by someone so big and strong and yet so gentle, was the most comforting thing I’d ever experienced. I didn’t know that it was possible to feel this way. I didn’t know that any of this was possible. Any of these new emotions that had been pulled out of some place inside me I didn’t even know existed.
I hadn’t thought I was capable of anything more than anger and violence, fear and hunger. Desperation. Numbness.
Was he creating these new feelings? Or had they lived buried inside me, and he was unearthing them, dragging them out into the light and giving them a place to live? To breathe?
“It’s alright, you don’t have to be sorry,” he said, that deep voice rumbling through him into me. I placed my palm over his chest, wanting to feel more of it, to hear it again. I had so many urges that were impossible to resist when it came to him. “You already apologized yesterday. Don’t feel bad, Bowen.”
Bowen.
A name.
Myname. And there was someone to call me by it.
But…I did have to be sorry. Iwassorry. And I’d never been sorry in my life. Had never said those words to anyone before.
This man could have easily killed me for what I’d done, and he hadn’t even hit me. No punishment whatsoever.
Hadn’t kicked me or slapped me or done anything to hurt me. In fact, he was more concerned about my reopened wound than the huge gash I cut into his arm.
The riotous aggression had fled a lot faster than usual, which I was really thankful for. It must have been a quick storm; sometimes it rained for a few minutes, and sometimes it rained for days. The latter didn’t happen often, but when it did…
I could clearly remember the last storm that had stuck around for days. Those had probably been the worst two days of my life. It was a blessing when it was just a few hours.
I shook my head. That was then, and now…
Right now, all my senses were focused on Cain and everywhere we were touching. He held me high against his left shoulder, his arm beneath my ass and his hand gripping my thigh, keeping me secure against him—and with such ease that I was jealous. I wanted to be that tall, that strong.
Being small had made me an easy target over the years, but…well, I supposed there were some benefits to being small. I never would’ve escaped if I were any bigger.
He’d wrapped his other arm around my calves, one palm flat on the back of my thigh. I was secure in his hold, didn’t think for a single second that he would drop me.
“How did you get up here?”
His deep voice vibrated through his chest into my legs, making me shiver.
I didn’t understand what he was asking me, so I didn’t say anything.
