“Fuck, why didn’t I realize it when you kissed me at the door?” He’d never felt stupider, throwing his head back and groaning up at the moonlight through the slanted window. She was tipsy, at the very least, and he was an asshole. He slid off of her and onto his back. “This isn’t a good idea.”
“What?” She pushed up onto her elbow then slid face-first into the duvet before properly propping herself up. “Yes, it is! I can tell you think so too.” She reached downward, but he snatched her wrist before she could grab the bulge in his sweatpants. “Kol,” she dragged out his name, leaning right up against the side of his face, his hat lost in the frenzy leaving him totally exposed. “It’s not a big deal.”
“Please don’t use that voice, Piper.”
But of course she did, whining long and low as her breath brushed over every crevice and mound of his ear. Her hand floundered in his grip, inches from his erection. “Come on, lemme see! I just wanna know if your you-know-what is different, like your ears.”
Different.
Anger flared in Kol’s chest, searing the edges of his desire. Hewasdifferent, and he could hear it being explained to him all over again by the elf he thought would change everything. He’d finally worked up the courage to tell her what he wanted, and it was simple: a real partner. But then she broke it to him, the thing he’d known but never wanted to admit to himself, that she slept with him because she’d been told by the other elves that he was doting and attentive and emotional in bed, which was certainly fun for a short time, but it wasn’t what she wanted in a lifelong partner—not for the length of her life or even for the much shorter length of his.
That had been the last time, with an elf or with anyone. Though it was the human part that made elves seek him out and then toss him aside, he’d sworn off being used like that, and now Piper was straining to grab onto the cock she imagined wasdifferentand licking at the funny-looking point to his ear.
But Piper didn’t use people, did she? If anything, she was just as worn as he felt. He could see it in her eyes, behind the drunkenness and the lust—she shined with the brightness of a beacon and warmth of a sun, but it was only because she was a star on the verge of burning out.
He let Piper slip out of his grasp when he felt her aim shift away from his crotch. “I missed you today,” she whispered and tenderly laid her hand on his chest. “I know it’s dumb, but I’m used to you being around now. I like it.”
That same sentiment had burned right where her palm pressed. He couldn’t deny the void he’d been carrying all day, the missing piece that came with her presence, whatever it was. But he was utterly bewildered by it too. “I missed you too,” he whispered back.
She drew a leg over his thighs and nuzzled her head into his shoulder. “It’s just easier for me like this,” she said, misery running through her words, and then she hiccupped. “I don’t get drunk a lot, but when I do, I don’t think or worry.”
Of course alcohol helped her relax, but as much as he wanted to ease her worries, he didn’t want her to not think, and he bet she didn’t actually want to not think either. What if she woke up in the morning appalled at what happened? Regretting it all? Hating him?
He sat up, thinking and worrying enough for the both of them. “Is calling it myyou-know-whata drunk thing or just a you thing?”
Piper looked boozily thoughtful, eyes squinted, lips pursed. “I can say peeee…nis”
He scoffed. “Penis?”
“Yeah, that.”
“Dick?” He asked, eyeing her. “Cock?”
Piper sucked in a deep breath and then covered her face before she started laughing again.
“That’s it, we’re definitely not doing this.” He rubbed his forehead and willed the organ in question to stand down.
“What? No! That’s so unfair,” she moaned, and not in the sexy way she’d been doing when his teeth skimmed her jaw. “I never get to do what I want!”
His cock would never relax if she kept that up, but she didn’t relent, making huffy little noises and mumbling about justice. He shifted back to his side and took her by the chin, biting out, “I wish you would tell me what you want when you’re sober.”
When she took advantage of how close he’d brought his mouth and kissed him then, he kissed her back because what else could he do?
“Not tonight, Piper,” he said up against her mouth. “Please.”
And because she wasn’t an animal like he was, she pulled back with a sad little frown. She let out a breath that smelled like chocolate and wine and sounded like disappointment, falling lax into the pillows. “But I like you.”
“I have no idea why,” he mumbled.
She snuggled her head against his arm again and sighed sleepily. “You don’t? That’s sad. I think you’re great. You’re funny and you’re helpful and you’re cute and you make my heart horny. I wish you were my boyfriend for real.” Piper yawned and closed her eyes.
Kol’s blood pumped in his ears, breath held. Her silly words were fueled by alcohol, by exhaustion, by libido, but they weren’t…they weren’t true, were they?
“No one cares about me like you do, and you don’t even really know me,” she mumbled into his shoulder.
“I feel like I know you,” he said quietly. “And when I’m with you, I feel like I know me too.”
“Then we should…” Piper’s voice petered out, eyes still closed. Her hand trailed down his stomach coming to rest a pine needle’s width away from where he both wanted it and didn’t.
