“You should do whatyouwant to do, Damien.” It was what he would have told her, and in this instance, she knew it was right. “Your father may or may not accept your choice, and your mother will have whatever reaction that she does, but what you decide is all that matters.”
“What if I make the wrong decision?”
“I don’t think there is a wrong decision.” She watched his eyes fall away from hers, unconvinced.
“But there is a decision which ruins many things. One that will lead to pain and…being alone.”
Amma scooted up against the pillow on the bed, and she grabbed him by the arm, tugging. He moved awkwardly under her attempt to manhandle him but fell on his stomach against her when she dragged him down to her chest.
“There’s no way you can breathe like this,” he chuckled, splayed out atop her.
Amma just settled in, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and nestling his head under her chin. “Of course I can, I’m very strong.” He was much bigger and heavier, but it didn’t matter, she made him fit and held him tightly.
He snorted, again not terribly convinced, but he wiggled arms around her waist, relaxing.
Amma ran fingers through Damien’s hair with one hand and drew lazy circles on the bare skin of his back with the other.“No matter what you choose, and no matter what comes of that choice,” she said quietly, “I will be beside you, and I will stay beside you for as long as you will have me. By Sestoth’s roots, I swear it.”
He did not respond, but she didn’t expect him to—it was her oath to make, and he didn’t need to accept it, it was sworn either way. Damien gave her middle a tight squeeze, and in the deepening silence of the little room in Orrinshire, they both fell asleep.
It would have been pitch black hours later when Amma woke if not for how close the two moons were together, their slant light coming in through the slightly open shutters in the middle of the night. She was roused by Damien’s movements as he lifted his head from her chest.
Bleary-eyed, he blinked at her then pushed up onto his hands to hover over her. Amma took a full breath, chest expanding fully as she rubbed an eye. When she focused on him again, he was staring intently back, brows narrowed. “What’s wrong?” she asked, heartbeat speeding up. “Bad dream?”
“I must tell you something.” His voice was hoarse, hair falling in his face, jaw tight. He had an arm on either side of her, so she was beholden in that moment to stay and listen regardless, but her limbs were suddenly too stiff and heavy to move anyway.
Amma swallowed and pressed back into the pillow. “Um, okay?”
“Since our first meeting, you have infuriated me time and again with the things you say and do and insist upon. Be kind, be thoughtful, be considerate—your actions and persistence have vexed me to no end.” The sharpness of his face was highlighted by the scant light through the window, and his words were nearly as cutting. “But worst of all was each and every time you demanded that you knew me better than I knew myself. Thatyou knew I was something that it was impossible for an infernal creature to be. Yet you pushed me to an edge I was sure would be the death of us both.”
Amma stared up into the intensity of his eyes, shining violet even in the dark. “Uh, Damien? I’m not exactly sure where you’re going with this, but it sounds kinda bad…”
“Shit. Of course it does.” He huffed and his head drooped between shoulders taut from holding himself up. “Let me try again. Amma, you are like a…a thorn.”
“Damien—”
“Wait, this is better, I swear it.” His eyes widened, and she pressed her lips together. “Like the briars you enchanted in the hot spring, you’ve pierced me, and yes, it was very painful and frankly quite annoying at first. I mean, really,veryannoying. Do you remember at Anomalous’s when you dared toshoutat me? I seriously considered pitching you off that tower despite how exquisite your breasts were, but—”
“How is this better?”
“But,”—he fell to his elbows and clamped a hand over her mouth—“in piercing me, you have bled out that which was actually injuring me.”
Amma took in a breath through her nose, his face much closer now, fingers pressed over her lips.
“You have burrowed yourself inside me, hollowed out those things I did not need, and taken up the space left behind with your…what do thorns inject into you? Poison?”
Her muffled objection under his hand only made him laugh.
“Well, I thought that metaphor was apt, but if it displeases you so, then I will say it plainly. Ammalie, I am…fond of you.”
Amma waited, she squinted, and then she slid her mouth out from under his hand. “Is that all?”
“Uh, no, I’ve just never said this. Not toanyone.” Damien’s lip curled up as he looked down. “Oh, this feels very, verystrange.”
“If it’s too hard—”
“No.” He pushed up again onto his knees and placed hands on either side of her face. His breath fell over her lips, and Damien for once did not swallow back what he meant to say nor use his blustery words to exaggerate and distract. He simply spoke to her, and she listened. “I am in love with you, Amma, utterly and unconditionally, until my last breath and beyond.”
Amma was surprised her heart still beat at all. Speaking was right out of the question, breathing already a struggle, and her thoughts were a complete wash, so she did exactly what her body told her to, and she kissed him. It was frenzied and desperate how she grabbed his head to pull him down or herself up, whichever got them closest, and she bit at his lips and tongue and nose and squealed right up against his mouth.
