Damien dropped his elbows onto Amma’s thighs and raked fingers through his hair. “It is as if some sadistic god refuses to allow this until an unknown objective is met,” he grumbled. “What in all the planes must I do to—”
“Damien?” Amma tapped his shoulder with urgency, and the waver of her voice made him sit up. “Something bad is happening.”
Indeed, something bad was happening.
The chamber shook, bits of rock and dust crumbling away from the craggy ceiling, the sounds of chaos echoing beyond the door. There was yelping and pounding, and then the entry swung open, goblins covered in makeshift armor tripping over one another until Amma’svisor, fitted with a crusty rack tied tohis chest, reached the front.
“Majesty!” he panted, “Is time! Is early, butistime.”
Damien stood as Amma slid off her throne. “For what?”
“Big Spicy awake!”
“What’s this now?” Damien asked.
Amma straightened her clothing, cheeks rosy. “I don’t actually know, but they keep mentioning it.”
“Must fight! Big danger!” called one of the goblins, towering behind the others but still a scrawny thing relative to any creature Damien would consider a threat.
From between the larger goblin’s legs, a comparatively tiny one’s head popped out and squeaked, “Make died!”
“Majesty!” Skoob had caught his breath and scrambled across the chamber to Amma where he fell to his knees, a poor replacement for Damien. “Apologies not tell, but Big Spicy only wake every…” He held up a hand, counting on his knobby fingers, then turned over his shoulder and called back, “What day is?”
“Four!”
“Thirteen!”
“Six and three halves!”
Skoob whined at the chorus of goblin voices, eyes watery as he cowered before the leader they had made. “Is not spose be now. But must fight!”
The cavern rumbled again, and the goblins cried out in response, rattling their broken weapons and dented shields.
“All right, but whatisthis Big Spicy?” Amma asked, leaning down as if speaking to a small child.
“Formidable.” Skoob’s voice was low and quavering as his knees knocked together. “Makes many gobbies died. Big Spicy is worst.”
Amma put a hand on his little shoulder and squeezed. “It sounds very scary,” she said in a soothing lilt. “Can you be braveenough to show us?”
Skoob still shook but nodded. There was another tremor then, but not from the cavern. This was just the sound of human garbage used as armor and shields clanging together as a small hoard of goblins quaked. Amma turned her face up to Damien and gave himthatlook.
He sighed, hands on his hips. “Yes, all right, let’s go see this large, peppery thing.”
The goblins hurried them through the cavernous tunnels of their den, Katz being jostled along and moving quicker than he would have liked. The way through was cramped for the humans, but the goblins hustled forward as if slowing down would cause them to overthink and turn back. Then again, overthinking was highly unlikely to be any goblin’s first or even fifth issue.
“Oh, Damien, your armor.” Amma touched his arm just above his bracer and brought him to a stop in the tunnel. A small contingency of goblins piled up behind him, running into his bare legs.
Having forgotten how near-naked he was, Damien shrugged but kept his voice low. “I’m sure it will be fine. This fear they have is likely founded for them, but for a blood mage?” He gestured to his bare chest and smirked. “You watched me slay harpies with less.”
Amma gave him a wary look, but they continued on until the tunnel opened up to a wider space with a much higher ceiling. There was a stone wall a few yards ahead, the path diverting to either side around it. The largest goblin who had been leading them turned to address the others. “Dis Big Spicy lair.”
The sentinels had come to stand in a row, a wave of awe-struck whispers rising up as they repeated, “Big Spicy.”
“Battalion One, prepare charge. Battalion Two, prepare replace.”
In a surprising show of stealth and organization, the goblins lined up in rows of five at the head of each path, just at the edge of the wall. Skoob remained beside them, wrapping little clawed hands around Amma’s calf.
“Um, can I ask real quick,” Amma whispered, “what do you mean byreplace?”
