He chuckled, staring up into the darkened, leafy cover overhead. “I am sure you will whether I say yes or no, so I suppose you may.”
Amma did not respond for a few moments. It was, perhaps, a mistake to say exactly what he’d said to her that night she’d gotten drunk in the Faebarrow tavern, and he had admitted to wanting to do things to her that made her wriggle and moan just at their suggestion.
“Yes, Amma?” he said louder to snap her out of wherever her thoughts had gone.
She made a contemplative sound, then hesitantly asked, “I was wondering if there was maybe something that you…want?”
Yes, there was absolutely something Damien wanted, from her specifically, but she couldn’t be askingthat, could she? “I’m not sure I follow.”
“I mean, besides the talisman and freeing your father and wreaking havoc on the realm, or whatever, is there anything else? Because I was just thinking, we’re going to the Innomina Wildwood for me, which already takes you further off course, and I remember you saying you’ve devoted your whole life to making the talisman, so maybe there’s something else that you want to go looking for that you haven’t had the chance to yet? Or maybe it’s a…a someone who went missing?”
Ah, so shehadoverheard at least some of his conversation with Lycoris in the den.
Damien’s jaw tightened, but no growl came, and no hot anger bubbled beneath his skin. This was just another of Amma’s attempts at being helpful, like when she’d been concerned about Rapture’s intentions or the dangers for him in Faebarrow, and Damien was finding it increasingly difficult to be angry with the things Amma did.
“She isn’t really missing,” he heard himself say. “My mother chose to leave. She does not want to be found.”
Amma shifted onto a shoulder. He could feel it, the way she looked right through him, even in the dark. He wanted to hate it, but vexation didn’t come, leaving him with only a tug at his throat, coaxing him to say more.
“My mother entered into a deal with my father. She would bare him a child and raise it in return for asylum, from what, I do not know. She kept to the bargain until I was four years old, so my memories are very unclear of this time—I do not even remember what she looks like—but she eventually abandoned us, and then things took a turn in Aszath Koth. My father was imprisoned by Archibald simultaneously, and I only just learned from Lycoris that these things were related. It makes quite a bit of sense now, to be honest.” Damien sighed as he let the information wash over him again. “Zagadoth is usually an enthusiastic storyteller, but when it comes to the specifics of how he became confined and anything about her, he’s always vague.”
“If your father’s trapped in a stone in Eirengaard, how does he tell you stories?”
Damien’s hand went instinctively to the satchel he kept the occlusion crystal shard within. He couldn’t tell her, not now anyway: she would probably want to meet the old bastard. “There are ways to communicate with him. Infernal ways.” It was infernally annoying, at least.
“Oh, like your raven,” she said nodding, and Damien noncommittally agreed. “So, he doesn’t like talking about your mom? Laurel’s parents are sort of like that too. Did he tell you anything else?”
“Only that I should not expect her to return when I asked, that she didn’t…that she wanted to be alone. That knowledge made things easier, but he never mentioned that she had taken me when she left or that coming after me himself was what got him trapped by Archibald.”
Amma moved quietly on the soft grass, and he could feel her getting nearer, but still much too far off to touch. “So, she didn’t exactly abandon you?”
Damien squinted up at the dark sky between the branches overhead. “That’s what Lycoris says. And apparently she took Xander too.”
“Xander?” Amma sat up with a start.
“Right?” Damien gestured wildly to the forest. “I told that asshole I had a very specific memory of the two of us in a different place, one that he had to have remembered better than I could.” Damien clicked his tongue, seething at the thought of being left on his back after their sparring match, unanswered. “Though I suppose he didn’t actually deny it. He and Birzuma made their home in Aszath Koth after I was born. For a short time my father at least put up with the two of them, especially as Aszath Koth was meant to be a sanctuary for those of our persuasion. Xander was a few years older than me, but he was a playmate with matched skills, and was around often. Why my mother would take him too is even more of a mystery, but perhaps it was for the best as Birzuma is the one who eventually returned both of us to Aszath Koth.”
“Birzuma,” Amma repeated hesitantly. “So, Xander’s mother, the demon, brought you and Xander back?”
“Yes. She ended up trapped by Archibald too, but many years later in an unrelated incident. Unrelated as far as I know.”
“You must have a lot of questions for your mother,” Amma said.
Originally, he had only wanted to see his mother again to know, for certain, that he was human too, but there were questions now, yes, which grossly complicated things. “Do you think I should look for her?”
She was still staring at him when he chanced a glance over, bottom lip caught between her teeth. “If you’re prepared for whatever might be said, I think you should do what your heart is pushing you toward, Damien.”
My heart, he thought, wanting to scoff but without the will to do so. Amma was right, of course, but damned annoying too.
For a long moment the two lay in the early darkness, crickets chirping and the fire popping. And then Damien found himself speaking again, against his better judgment. “It’s just so strange, isn’t it? To take me with her? Lycoris even told me that my mother washappy. She said my mother and father were like salamanders in a volcano. Do you know how much a salamander would adore being in a volcano, Amma?”
“How much?”
“Quite a bloody lot!” He threw his hands up then let them fall back on his chest with a great sigh. “Breaking their deal when it was simply a business contract at least made some sense, but if they were involved? Why—whywould she break off their deal? Why steal me away and betray my father like that? They were married for darkness’s sake!”
Amma made a small, thoughtful sound, but said nothing. If ever he needed her to say something, it was now.
“What do you think, Amma? Truly?”
