“Easy, easy. Don’t move.” Jared’s hands are back on my head, steadying.
“Can’t die.” The words tumble out in pieces. “Last thing I said…called him a muppet.”
There’s a pause. I’m drifting, the darkness pulling at me.
“Felix? What about the muppet?” Jared’s voice pulls me back.
“Called by boyfriend a self-absorbed muppet. Said his eyebrows…” I lose the thread. What about eyebrows? “Perfect. Too perfect.”
“You called your boyfriend a self-absorbed muppet with too-perfect eyebrows?”
“Yes. He’ll think…his fault. That I crashed.” The thoughts are jumbled but urgent. “If I die, you need to tell him…”
I pause, trying to organize the words. “No. Don’t say sorry. He’s a…” What’s the word? “Fuckwit. Maybe tell him I’m sorry he’s a fuckwit.”
“You want me to tell your boyfriend you’re sorry he’s a fuckwit?”
“Yes.”
“I’m not sure if that’s going to go down as the most romantic last words ever said,” Jared replies.
“Sorry,” I mumble. The word comes out slurred. “You didn’t…sign up for this…”
He seems to get what I’m trying to say.
“It’s okay, lots of people treat paramedics as confessionals.”
“Same letter as…priest?” I’m proud I made a joke, even if half my face won’t cooperate with smiling.
He laughs, soft and close.
I could listen to his laugh all day. It’s got this rumbling quality, like distant thunder that promises rain but in a good way. Like a storm that’s going to water your garden, not flood your basement.
The sound makes me want to stay awake. Fight harder. But my eyelids are so heavy.
“Felix? No sleeping. Talk to me about something else. What do you do for a job?”
“Work in fashion. For a designer.”
“What’s your boss’s name?”
“Giselle.”
“Good. And your boyfriend?”
“Car…” The name scatters. “Carlos.” There. Got it.
“Brilliant. You’re doing so well.”
“I’m…trying,” I say.
“Tell me about working in fashion,” Jared says. “What’s a typical day like?”
“Boutique. High-end.” The words come slowly. “Rich people…expensive clothes.”
“Do you enjoy it?”
My teeth start chattering. Can’t make them stop. Jared’s jacket isn’t enough anymore.
