And it could very well be everything that I’d been taught from a young age. I’d always been the most open-minded of my family, aside from my mum, that is. My brothers all fell in line with my father’s opinions, whereas I always had asked the most questions. It was just the way mybrain worked. I wanted to know the “why” behind everything. It was another reason I’d not followed my father into cardiology, instead enjoying the diversity and nuance that came with dealing with emergency situations. By not specializing, I was able to constantly ask “why” in every situation that came through the hospital doors.
But now it was time for me to apply this same critical thinking to my own circumstances. Faelan had captured my interest for a reason, and while my initial instinct had been suspicion, a few talks with Oban had made me pause on that path. What I needed was more information and a better understanding of who Faelan was before I would get out my pitchfork.
Just the thought alone brought an acrid taste to my mouth. It was one of my biggest issues with my father—how he could be so willing to persecute others, when we, too, had been persecuted. He had a blind spot, that he did, and one could even say he was a hypocrite at times.
My phone pinged in my pocket. Pulling it out, I noted my father’s name and switched it to silent. I wasn’t on call today and could happily avoid any conversation with my family.
“Work? Or family?” Faelan asked as she poured hot water from the kettle into the mugs.
“Family.”
“Hmmm.”
It was a perfect opportunity to address the story I’d told her yesterday about healers, but I wasn’t quite sure how to bring it up without sounding obvious.
“Have you always wanted to be a vet?” I asked, instead, taking the mug and plate of food from her and going acrossthe room to the wee bistro table. I barely fit in the chair and I felt like we were eating at a doll’s table, but this seemed to be the only option.
“Pretty much.” Faelan shrugged one shoulder as she brought her plate to the table and sat, tearing off a piece of the croissant. “I’ve had a natural affinity for animals from a young age.”
“They don’t judge … you said.”
“It’s true. They don’t. Mostly.” A smile drifted across her pretty face. She was clearly remembering a secret joke I wasn’t privy to. “But also, it’s hard to ignore their companionship. You’re never really lonely, are you, if you have a pet?”
I looked around the flat.
“But you don’t have one?”
“I didn’t say I was lonely, did I?” Faelan scowled, neatly putting me back in my place. “What about you? If your whole family are medical professionals, was that just the only way forward for you?”
“Honestly, I never really tried something else.” I took a bite of my egg sandwich and chewed while I thought it over. “It wasn’t a burden for me. I genuinely like learning. I was an inquisitive child, more so than my brothers, and constantly asked questions. It also made me a touch annoying.”
“You? Annoying? Never.” Faelan gestured with a hand to the bags I’d dropped just inside her door.
“Hey, you’ll think I’m less annoying once I tell you what your surprise is.”
“And will you be telling me that now?”
“Nope, not yet. So, back to childhood. Basically, I likefiguring out how things work. I like logic. Science was a great way for me to fulfill that part of my inquisitiveness. I’ve always been uncomfortable with things that I can’t explain.”
“And has there been a lot in your life that you can’t?” Faelan picked up her mug with both hands and leveled me a look over the top.
“Aye.” Not that I was ready to share what those things were with her. “But I suppose that’s what humanity is about, isn’t it? The pursuit of answers.”
“Or meaning.” Faelan’s eyes took on a haunted look.
“Och, now that’s an area I struggle with.” I leaned back and crossed my arms over my chest. “I take meaning in being able to treat injuries. To help others. But then I also struggle to understand when a child dies on my table.”
“I understand.” To my surprise, Faelan reached out and squeezed my arm, sympathy on her face. “Not to the extent of losing a child, but to many, their pets are much the same. It’s horrific to not be able to help in those instances. Us healers, we’re a special breed, aren’t we? There are only certain types suited for this line of work.”
“Healer. That’s an interesting way to put it. Don’t you mean doctor?” I asked, raising an eyebrow at her.
“Doctors are healers. They were healers long before the term doctor ever came about. Isn’t that what you’ve been taught? How to heal?” Faelan neatly sidestepped my question, and I gave up. I was beginning to understand there was no normal way to directly ask someone if they used magick in their healing. Which meant I either had to get up and leave, or I had to listen to my gut instinct that Faelan was a good person…with a secret.
Because, at the end of the day, I was hiding one from her as well.
“I guess so. Which is why I’m here to ‘heal’ a wound of yours.” I grinned when Faelan’s eyes narrowed.
“I don’t recall asking for help. With anything.” Faelan gestured with the cup, her lips pursing into a scowl.
